be quiet.

lately i've been thinking about life a lot, and the little lessons here and there that i've learned. some not so hard, and some that have knocked the life out of me.

learning to be quiet is one of them. being quiet doesn't come quite easy for me. it's a bit ironic, because i like quiet time referring to the environment around me. no noise, no people.
 but i, myself, don't really know how to be quiet and listen. even when it's just me. even if i'm alone, my mind will be going at a hundred miles per hour and just won't stop. and it's done more harm than not, a lot of the time.
see, if my mind is going at a hundred miles an hour, it doesn't have time to reflect on the circumstances, or the intention of the people around me. and i tend to spew out what my mind immediately thinks of, at times when i should really just be quiet and reflect.

// i think i've shared a couple of times here my heart for my marriage. we have a story. quite a story i tell ya. and it didn't begin with wedding bells, or a fairy tale synopsis. we were young, what can i say. young, immature, blunt, and competitive. as in always wanting to win a fight. always having the last word. throwing out the harshest comment to be up one. for years it was like that, until i realized it was spiraling out of control.

source

then one day, just like that, i tried it. i stood quiet. i listened and reflected.
sure the hot tears were stinging because of anger and pain and just wanting to blurt out my words. but many times before those words had caused much damage and were not ones i could take back. being quiet, breathing in, and giving a gentle answer which at many times was in the form of no answer at all, has made a world of difference in my marriage. no wait, a universe of difference from both parts. him and i.

we sometimes want the last word, if they unintentionally hurt, we want to say our words that might give us the lead score. but it never made me feel like a winner. it made me feel like a jerk. every time.

 with the kiddos, it tends to happen as well. i speak too quickly, yell too quickly, assume too quickly. just because i'm the parent, doesn't ever mean my words are the only ones that matter. in fact, their words are really the most important. to lead them, i must understand them. can't do that if i'm doing all the talking. or yelling in some cases. i know i sound like a bad mom, but i'm just another mom trying to figure this whole thing out. with them i need to take that time to be quiet and reflect.

//come to think of it, it's so necessary to just be quiet sometimes and reflect. with friends instead of judging too quickly, just be quiet and hear their story, their heart. quiet your mind down for a few moments. and with God, oh with God, how come I just can't shut up for crying out loud? how come i always want to insert my two cents and not just be quiet and let Him speak? .................... it's a constant struggle, but i'm getting better at it. everyone has something to say, but not everything is to build up or encourage. today i choose to be quiet and reflect.

how about you, do you have a hard time being quiet?

linking up:

home + heart

quietly contemplating. [happy and healthy you]

lately life has been a bit confusing. a bit unclear and i can sort of see a new road unwinding. 

i could be afraid of it, and at times i have shed a tear or two fearing the unknown. but as i type this and think about all the inspiring posts i have read this week and God's voice being behind each one of them, i'm breathing in deep and can say i'm okay with it.

i'm choosing to see His grace in my life. in those moments of quiet which i've craved more this week compared to most (and it's barely wednesday!), i smile and take it all in. i can't allow the negative or the threatening storm clouds to move me. heck, i might even break out a run when and if it begins to pour.  

now link up below and tell me what you are doing that makes you happy or healthy. could be anything! dancing, eating, spending time with your kiddos. tell me below!

link back so more can join the party, and visit others. it's a party, so mingle or leave some sweet words. say hi!

just copy and paste, mkay? 

button code. ain't nobody got time for that!

where's your happiness beautiful?

i've put happiness on a pedestal for as long as i can remember. i think from the first day after i gave Jesus my depression, all i've ever wanted to be was happy. every minute of every day. i've feared even a moment of solitude or sadness, crawling away as fast as possible from the dark place i was in for far too long. but i've come to a realization these past couple of weeks that this type of happiness has been so dangerous.

Here's what I do. Everyday.

I dream.  I'm a dreamer. Hard core dreamer.

In my head are circulating dreams of decor that could amazingly grace the walls of my home yet are way above my budget.  or the beautiful rustic dining table that looks terribly easy to create if I could only convince my husband to simply look up directions of YouTube. 

I dream of days where I could gather the courage to dig into my creative core and engage in a job that I would love with every fiber of my being.

Dreams of traveling the world seem to have been placed in the backburner and traded in for dreams of taking people on the best trip of their lives,  by coming  to know Jesus. A trip that never ends, just gets better.

The flames of my little outdated stove fire up dreams of mastering recipes and to somehow encourage mothers to cook more homemade and enjoy eating with their families at the dinner table. 

I dream of seeing my kiddos become passionate of the Lord as they continue to grow. That they can become great warriors of faith.  For that I know only too well, that my way of living will be the biggest testimony. So I also dream of being a better mother, friend, prayer warrior for them. And for my husband. 

And while we're in the list of things I dream of,  a nice tall cone of cherry chocolate ice cream with a cherry on top, wouldn't be an awful thing. 

dreamer by night. insurance agent by day.

  Linking up with jenni.
Disclaimer: i may or may not keep up with all the prompts, but I'll try my hardest to blog every day. Maybe.

it's the small things.

oh i don't even know why i say it anymore, it's futile, like if my words were to slow down time. but here we are nonetheless, it's thursday and another week is flying by. it almost leaves time for anything at all, however, it's a clear reminder that we must live each day looking for bliss in everything, small or big. currently i'm finding bliss in little things like...

vanilla chai tea. oh pure heaven. it's so soothing and sweet, and well makes me a happy lady. getting ready for bed, it's become part of my little ritual. the smell is heavenly too.

phil wickham has been on replay. i love acoustic sounds. so romantic and uplifting.
which is why i need to find time to learn how to play the guitar. poor thing is in its case in the corner of my studio. i digress. his worship songs are so pure and full of heart. currently my fave is all i am. hits the nail on the head for my heart right now.


my kitchen has become my place to be me. sounds so weird, but when i'm cooking and finding more ways to cook from scratch and with natural ingredients, it satisfies me inside. i never thought i would say something like that. but it does make me beam with pride when i place a homecooked meal in front of my family. even if some nights its homade turkey sandwhiches. they were made with love. :)

funny when we stop and think about the small mundane things that we have going on, most actually bring a smile to our face. shouldn't take that for granted.

thirty days.

warning: really long post.

today marks the first day of may. although i'm sure you knew that the moment you woke up and looked at your calendar. so what's the big deal you say? well the big deal is that april and its thirty days are over. and if you read my blog somewhat consistently, i'm kinda sure you know about my #30daysofsalads challenge.

let me just preface and tell you, it was hard. and at given points i wanted to throw it all out the window and be done with it. you wanna know the verdict? drum roll please....
i couldn't do it. haha. just kidding. i did it. i completed the whole thirty days transforming my eating routine and honestly, i couldn't be happier.
thank you, all of you, for your encouraging words, your emails, your support. you guys rock forever and ever!

in no particular order, let me share some thoughts with you about it.

weight: i lost a total of six pounds. my goal was at least ten. now at first when i got stuck at the six, i was bummed and started to feel defeated, but i was reminded and found peace in knowing, i was doing this more for my morale and freedom from lack of self control. plus it's six pounds less than where i would be right now.

lifestyle: the difference from my energy thirty days ago to now is night and day. sure i get tired by the end of the day but i don't feel sluggish, bloated, and depressed. i have more energy and feel so proud of myself for accomplishing a salad each day for a meal instead of something fried, high in carbs, or sugary for lunch. yes i would have a piece of cake or cupcake for lunch at times. prepping my salads actually get me excited. seriously! going to purchase groceries, the produce section gets me giddy. incorporating more organic, more fresh, more greens into my meals give me a pep in my step. makes me feel like a healthy being!
i haven't craved a burger in about two weeks. week second, i was dying for one. now the thought of it, is kinda gross.

self control: this one's a biggie. i could tell you that i didn't sway once, but i wouldn't be truthful or human for that matter. there were moments were i took a bite or two of mashed potatoes, ate one small cookie, and probably a couple of fries off the kids' plates. but the way i see it, is i controlled myself to just that. i didn't heap a big pile of mashed potatoes onto my plate, stuck with one cookie instead of six in a sitting, and didn't order any fast food for myself. just stole a couple from the kids. most importantly, I kept my cool in the presence of chocolate. now that's self control. this girl LOVES chocolate.

faith: the one thing that helped me through it was knowing i was doing it to honor my temple and letting go of what's controlled me for so long. i wanted to come out of this triumphant with God's help, and from my perspective, i did.

****

now it may not seem like a big deal, but guys, to me it is.to me, it means knowing that i have it in me to let go, let God, and succeed. i have it in me to find self control and hang on it a whole lot more than ever before.
and the best thing is that my body has now become accustomed to this new way of feeding my temple. i'm excited to find new recipes incorporating more veggies for me and my family. i will have to be more creative when it comes to the kids though. juicing anyone?

now that the thirty days are over, now what? well we continue. we continue to live healthy, making better choices and in fact it gets better. during the thirty days, i didn't work out. i was just focusing on the eating aspect of the challenge. but it's time to step it up. starting today, a new challenge begins. #31milesinmay.

walking/jogging/running will be my goal this month. one mile at least per day. if you know me, exercising is never on my to do list. i just don't care much for it. but while i'm trying to transform my lifestyle, i gotta transform my activity as well. so here's to a new challenge. here, here!!

next week i'll go into my methods, tips and routine. stay tuned...

weekend recap.

good morning friends! i'm struggling to wake up right now, as i type. but i type feeling blessed beyond measure.

this weekend was nothing extraordinary in terms of adventures, or new trips, though being with my family, holding meaningful conversations with my parents, serving the community, and simply picking wildflowers make me realize life is swell.

yes, real swell indeed.

   

  

how was your weekend loves? hope you all have a beautiful monday!

linking up:

OUR WEEKEND

MISCELLANY MONDAY

little green on my thumb. (happy you link up)

if anyone would've said, 'leah you will have little strawberries growing of your own.' i would've rolled my eyes, laughed sarcastically and psssshh'd at them.

just the four of us.

i went about my weekend with half of my heart missing. my hubby flew out to chicago this weekend, so it was just me and the kiddos slumming it and missing him tons. but we managed to squeeze in some highlights.

saturday after morning service, i grabbed my baby sis and snapped some senior pictures. taking senior pictures have come a long way from when i was in high school. you must remember the cliche one, sitting next to a life size graduation year number with a cheesy pose.

sunday, we headed out for some grocery shopping, because a family of five tends to get hungry every now and then and things get ugly when said family is not fed. out by my area i encountered a mob of cyclist riding for the Austin Autism Bike Ride event. it was pretty cool to watch, especially after the Boston happenings. riding for a good cause without fear of the unknown possibilities. athletes rock!
afterwards, we ventured out to the theater to watch The Croods. cute movie. the kids enjoyed it and i grabbed the greatest mom award, if only for a few hours before it was taken away by denying ice cream before dinner. you win some, you lose some. eh.

i managed to plant a few flowers in my walkway to look a little more desirable and hopefully sway the sun to finally stay AND i managed to tend to the unruly mop on top of my head. sister needed a trim badly.
now we are just awaiting the arrival of my baby daddy later today. not too shabby of a weekend.
how was your weekend? and on that note, have an awesome monday!!

linking up with:

on this friday...

source (edited by me)

...this girl right here is extremely thankful. for what you ask?

for you guys. seriously.

you guys rock. i'm always so blown away by the encouragement and support that you all have to offer.

and if we lived closer, i'd love to sit around and chit chat and share stories of everyday life. it would be fantastic, i just know it.

but until then, i just wanted to stop in today to say thank you, merci, gracias, grazie.

your prayers, your words, your encouragement. it means the world.

now go and have a fabulous friday. you deserve it!

the art of homemaking.

you know, the other day while baking my first bread from scratch, i came to a realization.
and it's kind of fitting that my realization came to me in the kitchen as i pulled out that warm, perfectly baked bread.

i realize that i love being a homemaker.

although, as i type that, i don't really fully feel like one as i do work outside the home part time.
but, the hours i spend at home grumbling at every moment i have to yet sweep again and piles of laundry that get higher and higher, ironically are the ones that fulfil me the most.
and my husband says i'm complicated with my thoughts, pssh. don't know what he's talking about.

sure, there are days when i wish i could scrunch up my nose, wiggle it and have a chef, maid, and nanny appear before my eyes, but we all have those days.
we all want a little break here and there, and i'm no exception, but nonetheless, i really like taking care of my home and family, and i'm so thankful i have the ability to do so.
i know there are some women who have always dreamed of tailored blazers and pencil skirts while discussing company politics in a board room with colleagues which most are males, but me? i'm content in the middle of my living room with laundry piles for five and an oven which is baking chicken for my hungry brood.
i'm so exciting, i know.
but there's just something in knowing that as a woman i am seen as a caretaker and provider to the family God has provided me with. it's a job to be held with high esteem i tell you. if i could be so daring to say it is an art itself.
you create all the while: making the beds, preparing a warm, homemade meal, cuddling and snuggling your babes, all to create a warm home for their heart.
so if you're a homemaker and ever feel like you're not enough, let me tell you woman. you have that special touch to keep your home running smoothly and to create a safe haven for your children and husband.
sometimes it feels like you are taken for granted when socks are left everywhere and somehow the floor seems like a good place to spill milk like it's a sport, but you are loved and needed more than you know.
today, as i tackle every chore, discipline, and care for my family, i will remember there's nothing else like it. for that i am so very thankful.

ps. the bread was baked about two weeks ago. just to be clear that i'm not indulging in bread after yesterday's post! haha)

linking up with:

Desire to Inspire
oh so thankful
Through the Eyes of a...

no more.

via

okay, don't really know how to start this, mainly because i still feel kind of stupid sharing this part of me. 

mainly because i have to admit that something has had a tight grip on me for several years and i've been too naive to recognize it and too prideful to understand that it controls me, much less know how to let go. 

suri girl.

yesterday we celebrated one year of life for the most gorgeous little lady.

Suri, my younger sister's daughter is such a joy to be around. This girl really never stops smiling. I love happy babies, and she sure is one.

it was pure happiness being at my sister's house with my family.

stayed up until four in the morning laughing our butts off at the cheesiest and corniest jokes ever. i guess being delirious from no sleep will do that to you.

sunday was just perfect. although dark clouds threaten us in the morning, the sun was shining by the time the party started.

i hope your weekend was just as wonderful. and now back to the grind.

to be honest, i'm not really feeling it today yall.

i'm tired and want to crawl back into bed, but this weekend was well worth it.

linking up with:

a new journey.

any day at church praising and worshipping is a good day, but yesterday had extra sprinkles on top.

at my church we celebrate the Lord's Last Supper and mainly it is an act of remembrance of  Jesus' last supper before his death, but also in remembrance that He is no longer in the grave. He is victorious over the sting of death and has given our soul hope.

it's a beautiful service and love that i was able to spend it with my family, even with my little sis who came up to celebrate with us.

i love these nerds. they are my everything.

and it's a good thing, because along with these nerds of mine, we are embarking in a new journey.

over the past few months, the Lord has been teaching us so many things and though some of them have been hard to understand, we are sure of where He wants to lead us.

we started a new church plant and couldn't be more excited for it.

already the Lord has provided in the most beautiful ways, not only in the material things, but in His amazing presence.

let me tell you. a couple of years ago, i would've told you i wouldn't ever see myself involved in something like this, because mainly i like comfortable.

this will take me way out of my comfort zone. preaching the gospel to the lost will not be comfortable to me, but following Jesus is not always being cozy. So my hope is that we can bring those that are lost and hurting to Jesus' feet and that they too may experience that beautiful, and incomparable love that i've had the privilege to know.

keep us in your prayers friends. obstacles will come our way, but we want to do the work obediently, all for His glory!

also if any of you have ever been involved in something similar, words of wisdom/advice are like gold.

have a beautiful monday you guys!

talking 'bout worship, donuts, and starbucks.

it is the end of the third week of march. can you believe that!? well this week flew faster than i could keep up but it was a good week nonetheless. a friend once said, any day above ground is a good day and isn't that the truth?
so because it's friday, let's party.

i'm not normally a starbucks girl. yep, really. however, i got a gift card for my birthday and picked up a chicken sausage wrap. it was really yummy!
so it looks like that will be my breakfast choice more often now. which is why i'm not a starbucks girl. this won't be good for my wallet!

i've been listening all week to vertical church band with meredith andrews. such awesome worship songs i've had on repeat. my absolute favorites:

this week also, i've been in the kitchen more than normal. i've just gotten this kick to cook up a storm, including ricotta stuffed turkey meatballs. sound good right, didn't come out as good. but what did turn out pretty good even for my first time, were baked donuts.

nobody can argue with baked goodness!

and just in case you are driving by me, don't make fun. i'm that girl that likes to take selfies at red lights.

all because i'm so happy that it's friday!

have a lovely friday, celebrate your life today because you are so, so worth it!

linking up with: