Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

date night, where i take him out.

date nights are the best, but sometimes especially after twelve years, it can kinda get repetitive.
you the know, the usual movie and dinner.

friday afternoon, while at work, i texted my husband and informed him i was taking him out saturday night. i felt like such a feminist! ha.
and immediately i knew we needed to do something different.
rollerskating is what popped into my head and so it was.

i didn't want to tell him about it though until we got there since i was afraid he would want to back out.
luckily, after much questioning i broke down and told him and he just responded with,
'alright, it's whatever you want to do.'

well then, rollerskating it is!
let me tell you, we were probably one of the three older couples there.
it was a middle and high school jungle hangout!

we just tried to look extra cool and not fall.. until i did.
a little embarrassing, but after that fall, it all came back to me, and i felt like i could be part of the roller derby girls.
no, not really, those girls are fierce!
overall it was really, really fun and different!
after we were pretty starved and ate to our heart's content.
the next morning we continued with breakfast and some really good conversation.
and right there (about to get a little mushy alert!), i thanked God for His blessings.
it hasn't been an easy road, but being able to sit there and talk without fighting over the smallest thing is long overdue, and so refreshing.
now i'm trying to think what should we do on our next date.
maybe sky diving?
what's your favorite part of date night?

12 years.


marriage is a funny thing.
there are days you walk around with stars in your eyes from how head over heels you are, and some days you look at him with a look that could make a lion crouch in fear.

and you can bet in twelve years of marriage, we've done our share of both. it's been rocky at times but ultimately God has been the One to work things out.
I love my guy, and what we've established together.
Saturday we celebrated in a low key kinda way. Quiet dinner with great conversation about dreams and goals for this year and a movie afterwards.
Came home to a kid free home and crashed immediately cause we're old.  
one day i shall write more about lessons i've learned in marriage. but today. i'll just keep it short and sweet.


oil + water = love.

on our way to the movies. love dates with my love.

he sleeps with the tv on lights off. i like the lights on, no tv noise.
he is also a night owl. this man will go to bed until well past midnight watching sports recaps, playing FIFA, and catching up on his dvr. me i'm out by eleven. sometimes eleven thirty. and that's pushing it. he will have the ceiling fan turned on full power and i will be bundled tight under the covers.

he likes it, he buys it. i like it, i look at the price tag and convince myself i don't really like it. 
while he is such a hard worker and super responsible with our bills, when it comes to buying something new for the house, the kids, himself, or us, he does it. no second thinking, unless of course the price is ridiculous. i on the other hand, am the frugal one. i over think it to the point it's put back on the shelf. guess which of us the kids like to go shopping with?

he's a social butterfly, i'm still in the cacoon.
this man has such a way to go into a room knowing not a soul, and leaving the room with a new friend. laughing it up with strangers over politics, sports, even the weather. i'm next to him fidgeting with my purse and counting down the minutes until we go home. i'm just such a homebody. i like being in my zone at my own pace. i mean is it such a bad thing i just want to be in my pajamas, dang it? i'm kind of getting better at this, but it's definitely out of my comfort zone.

i like a good chic flick, he pretends to not like a good chic flick.
movie night in our home is like vacuuming. pretty much every other or third day. while his first choice might be a macho,muscle flaunting, busting robbery type of flicks, he has no problem enjoying a bowl of popcorn while we watch the single dad tell his nine year old daughter the story of how he and her mom met. (name the movie) and possibly get a little teary eyed. just don't tell him i said that.

these are just to name a few things we are different in and it's funny really, how very few commonalities we share. when we do agree on something it's like time stands still enough for the celestial beings to join their voices in a hallelujah. ok that was totally dramatic, but high five giving might take place though. might.

how about you. are you and your significant others quite different or quite the same?

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be quiet.

lately i've been thinking about life a lot, and the little lessons here and there that i've learned. some not so hard, and some that have knocked the life out of me.

learning to be quiet is one of them. being quiet doesn't come quite easy for me. it's a bit ironic, because i like quiet time referring to the environment around me. no noise, no people.
 but i, myself, don't really know how to be quiet and listen. even when it's just me. even if i'm alone, my mind will be going at a hundred miles per hour and just won't stop. and it's done more harm than not, a lot of the time.
see, if my mind is going at a hundred miles an hour, it doesn't have time to reflect on the circumstances, or the intention of the people around me. and i tend to spew out what my mind immediately thinks of, at times when i should really just be quiet and reflect.

// i think i've shared a couple of times here my heart for my marriage. we have a story. quite a story i tell ya. and it didn't begin with wedding bells, or a fairy tale synopsis. we were young, what can i say. young, immature, blunt, and competitive. as in always wanting to win a fight. always having the last word. throwing out the harshest comment to be up one. for years it was like that, until i realized it was spiraling out of control.

then one day, just like that, i tried it. i stood quiet. i listened and reflected.
sure the hot tears were stinging because of anger and pain and just wanting to blurt out my words. but many times before those words had caused much damage and were not ones i could take back. being quiet, breathing in, and giving a gentle answer which at many times was in the form of no answer at all, has made a world of difference in my marriage. no wait, a universe of difference from both parts. him and i.

we sometimes want the last word, if they unintentionally hurt, we want to say our words that might give us the lead score. but it never made me feel like a winner. it made me feel like a jerk. every time.

 with the kiddos, it tends to happen as well. i speak too quickly, yell too quickly, assume too quickly. just because i'm the parent, doesn't ever mean my words are the only ones that matter. in fact, their words are really the most important. to lead them, i must understand them. can't do that if i'm doing all the talking. or yelling in some cases. i know i sound like a bad mom, but i'm just another mom trying to figure this whole thing out. with them i need to take that time to be quiet and reflect.

//come to think of it, it's so necessary to just be quiet sometimes and reflect. with friends instead of judging too quickly, just be quiet and hear their story, their heart. quiet your mind down for a few moments. and with God, oh with God, how come I just can't shut up for crying out loud? how come i always want to insert my two cents and not just be quiet and let Him speak? .................... it's a constant struggle, but i'm getting better at it. everyone has something to say, but not everything is to build up or encourage. today i choose to be quiet and reflect.

how about you, do you have a hard time being quiet?

linking up:

not your typical 'christian' marriage.

at his 29th birthday party

okay friends. before i dive in, i just want you to know that this post has been on my heart for quite some time and for whatever reason or another i've ignored the nudging to publish it. it seemed that maybe it wouldn't be relevant to my blog ,but i know what God wants and it is to speak from my heart to tell His story, and on my heart currently is my marriage.

date night. {healthy you, happy you thursday}

date nights are my absolute favorite. just me and my love out in the town painting the town red. not really, just dining out and enjoying each other's company, but you get the point.
on love day, we called some friends in high places aka little sister baby sat, and dolled up a little.

as our typical marriage goes, he had a place picked out, i scrunched my nose a little and chose to drive to downtown to look for something more... swanky. wrong choice. the place i wanted to dine in had shut down. the others were so dead, the ambiance would've ruined it. and we ended up driving around for an hour. finally, Red Lobster is where we decided to stuff our bellies at.
I love that man for trying to please me and put up with my ridiculousness.
But you know, I gotta say we laughed hard, ate deliciously and looked into each other's eyes.. yea not that. just laughed hard and ate deliciously.
one of the best date nights yet. it left my belly and heart full after an overwhelming week. sometimes you gotta take that time to enjoy your loved ones you know?
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letters of young love.

get your tissues ladies. it's about to get real mushy up in here!

i'm the kind of girl that LOVES love. the idea of love, just being in love. all the romantic gestures you can think of, without them being too, too cheesy, i'm all for it.
including little love notes.

when my husband and i dated, i wrote so many of them. and folded them into creative little envelopes. you remember them, yes? and can't forget dotting the i's with little hearts. there was no other way to dot the i's when you're in love.

well, after eleven years of marriage, we still have these in a box. and from time to time, i'll take them down read through them, and laugh and cry. i told you it was going to get mushy didn't i?
and then i'll run to my husband and read him an excerpt from a letter, and he'll just chuckle.
that chuckle that says: ah, yes i remember that one.

through reading these letters and reminiscing, not only do i take a quick stroll through memory lane, but it reminds me how our love has somewhat remained the same.
sure, our marriage has had more bumps that a bumper car ride, and has been at the brink of calling it quits, but as we still stand here together knowing that we have each other's hearts, we can make that choice to keep moving forward and stand together on what may come.
and while we stand together, it's not a bad idea to write a letter every now and then. leave it on his nightstand, or under his keyboard at work letting him know he still makes my heart still pitter patter.
be classy and seal it with a kiss, and not forgetting to heart my i's.
okay so maybe just regular i's will do. but never forget how important it is to continue letting your spouse know how important and loved they are even in those moments where they may be the last person you want to see. things can't always be perfect, but even in that little storm, love can always find a way.

how do you let your other half know they are still your one and only?

linking up with:

Love is a choice

feeling like a bad wife

i've been a lame wife. great way to start a post, huh? but i have and it's stinks when i have to realize i'm the one that's wrong. i really don't like being wrong.

i've bumped down my husband way to the bottom of the totem pole unintentionally and have left him there for the past couple of weeks, because his wheel hasn't been the loudest one squeaking. that's how the phrase goes right? anyway. he's not very expressive with his words. he will never sit down with me and say, 'honey, i'm feeling neglected.' so it makes it hard for me to realize when i am neglecting him.