For Love Of : women

Showing posts with label women. Show all posts

mrs. independent.

silverspoon fed. yeah, not quite. cuddled a little too much, maybe yes.

you know how some people get their first job at like 14? i got my first job when i was 20.
people get their driver's license at 15, didn't learn to drive until i was 21.
people move out of their parents the eve of their 18th birthday. didn't move out until i got married, and have never lived in a different city than my parents. in fact never more than 15 or 20 minutes away.

you could say it's actually pretty lame, but when i got married, i never really became independent either. i just hid behind another shadow and placed my dependancy onto someone else.

flat tire. call the husband.
left the keys inside the house. call the husband.
got a notice in the mail. tell the husband to call.
there's a wasp inside the house, tell the husband.
need an oil change.. you got it. call the husband.

i got so used to this way of being that it just seemed natural to me and he has always been so gracious to come to my rescue.
until last week, i got a flat tire and the kids needed to be picked up from school. husband was far away and wasn't going to get there in time. instead of just waiting around, possibly crying a little bit, i braved the storm. well traffic in this case. yes risky and possibly not the safest choice, but i knew a tire repair shop was not very far and with emergency blinkers on and being flipped off by a couple of drivers that were not as empathetic, i made it to the shop, told the guy what i needed, paid for my repaired tire and picked up my kids.

the saturday following, i left my keys inside the car while it was running. i panicked and called the husband. when he didn't pick up right away, i grouped myself together and called roadside assistance. when the husband returned my phone call, i very grown up like and matter of factly simply informed his assistance was no longer required as roadside assistance was on the way.

you guys. i know some of you might be wondering how i've managed to keep three kids alive if i panic when my keys are left inside a car. but seriously, it felt like a monumental day for me. mrs. independent woman who doesn't need a man...wait that's another channel and totally kidding, but a woman who can be independent in letting go of fear and the feeling of being incapable of certain things.

in a way i've always been hiding behind the shadow of my parents and my husband. now i'm not saying i'm going to branch off, rebel and not consider my husband anymore. absolutely not, i need someone to pay the bills. kidding again. but what i am saying is that i felt so good about myself for recognizing that i can do things on my own without always calling my husband or dad to rescue me.

this feeling of slight independence has me wanting to chase the dreams i've kept behind the shadows much more now than before. it's so weird and almost ridiculous. but you know, i really like it.

who knew that a flat tire could lead to such revelation?

how about you, do you consider yourself pretty independent?

love yourself better.

being a woman is difficult at times. can i get an amen sistas? it may have something to do with hormones raging just about any time of day,

but we struggle with so much i think.

emotions sometimes get out of control and before we know it

we are in a place where we are just so unsure of ourselves and don't know how to quite love ourselves unconditionally.

i've met so many women who struggle with that.

i was there for so many years.

it is so important that we as women love ourselves and recognize our worth. when we don't, it can be so damaging to not only ourselves but to our loved ones...and sometimes to our waistlines. :)

i wanted to share with you all a few lessons that i've learned along the way and that have helped me love myself better.

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION:

Being that this is my love language, i always depended on others to tell me what i wanted to hear. when those words weren't spoken by the ones i hoped would, i didn't feel loved.

until i realized, why must someone else verbalize them, why can't it be me?

each morning look yourself in the mirror and remind yourself that you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have purpose.

not in a 'mirror, mirror who's the fairest of them all' kind of way,

but with heart.

you were beautifully made, don't ever doubt it.

if sticky notes on your mirror help, go for it. whatever works for you. but please let yourself know that everyday. your worth is far above rubies.

DO SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU SMILE.

For me, part of not loving myself was feeling unattractive.
Part of feeling unattractive was from not being happy. I cried often and worried even more. It began to deteriorate my inner beauty, my spirit.
When you take time to do something that makes you happy, your soul will be also. then, your inner beauty will thrive and your outward smile will radiate that beauty.
i've noticed when i'm smiling (and not the i copied and pasted a smile on my face kind), i feel better about myself almost instantly. i stand taller, and feel stronger and more confident.
that in my book is a gorgeous girl.
strenght and confidence: qualities that help me love myself better.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH HAPPY PEOPLE.

many of us have people in our lives who are negative and are always looking to bring us down.
these are not the people that you want to surround yourself with if you are having a hard time loving yourself.
instead build stronger relationships with those that shine from the inside out. these people will uplift you and inspire you to live better. these kind of people will rub off their sparkle on you in the best of positive ways.
this is one of the many reasons why i love blogging. there
are so many inspirational, sparkly women around here!
and when you love and accept yourself for who you are, you can rub off that sparkle on those that once tried to bring you down.
it's the circle of life, as king mufasa would say.
after all we must love others as we love ourselves.
that one, jesus said.

whatever you might be going through today or whatever words someone has chosen to address you, know that no matter what, there can never be a more beautiful you and your worth is priceless.

now tell me, is there something you do to love yourself better?

linking up here:

desire to inspire

pizza talk + something new.

besides coffee, pizza is always a good thing to enjoy while having real talk. don't you agree? it's my favorite.

so let me let you in on something: i'm complicated.

the husband and i have always joked that he and i are like oil and water, syrup and spaghetti (if you know where that's from big high five sista), you get the idea. don't get me wrong, we love each other and are great together, attesting to the 'opposites attract', 'men are from mars and women are from venus' theory.

but as of late, i have noticed that who i am changes constantly and is more unpredictable than texas weather. (exhibit A:my ever changing blog design.)

i might very well be from pluto.

sometimes, okay.lie, a lot of times i don't even know what i want and who i am anymore. and if i can be brutally honest here, i find myself having mini therapy sessions with myself. not the jekyll and hyde kind, just talking to myself trying to sort the thoughts out in my head. i'm on the verge of being a nut job, maybe. and i get irritated with myself because in my head i want to be so many things that i'm not and probably i'll never be.

i love my husband for loving me at my worst, when i feel i don't really deserve to be loved. he is forgiving and so are my kiddos. mommy is mean sometimes and truth be told, i've been dubbed the meanest mommy in the world at times.

while i go through my changing moods which are dangerous around certain days and an identity crisis which might have to do with nearing middle age (yikes!) i know that i can hold on to something that's truer than how much i love pizza.

although i'm impatient, my worst critic, clumsy, passionate, eager to do too much all the time, forgetful and trying to let go of anxiety over petty things, I am the child of someone bigger than all of it. God takes me in as i am, that big ball of mess that I myself am trying to figure out and loves me day in and day out. he kneads out all the lumps and smooths things out perfectly. my identity is in Him, in Christ. and that should be where i look towards each day. no exceptions.

during the past couple of weeks, i've read many posts that have resonated within me on how we women think, what we feel, what we go through. some have been stretched thin emotionally and physically with no time left to deal with it all and bottle it up. two words: no.bueno.
so i thought that we should have a motivation to look into ourselves and hash stuff out that stressing us out in a healthy way. think: 'me time.'

starting next week, i will be hosting my first link-up (insert nervous awkward happy dance), with the purpose of encouraging all of us women to live happier, live better.
that might be running a good three miles every morning to clear your mind, writing things down, worshiping your heart out, or kneading dough. whatever it is for you, blog about it and join me so together we can encourage one another. i get so encouraged by all of you on a daily basis and I know others would too.