pizza talk + something new.

besides coffee, pizza is always a good thing to enjoy while having real talk. don't you agree? it's my favorite.

so let me let you in on something: i'm complicated.

the husband and i have always joked that he and i are like oil and water, syrup and spaghetti (if you know where that's from big high five sista), you get the idea. don't get me wrong, we love each other and are great together, attesting to the 'opposites attract', 'men are from mars and women are from venus' theory.

but as of late, i have noticed that who i am changes constantly and is more unpredictable than texas weather. (exhibit A:my ever changing blog design.)

i might very well be from pluto.

sometimes, okay.lie, a lot of times i don't even know what i want and who i am anymore. and if i can be brutally honest here, i find myself having mini therapy sessions with myself. not the jekyll and hyde kind, just talking to myself trying to sort the thoughts out in my head. i'm on the verge of being a nut job, maybe. and i get irritated with myself because in my head i want to be so many things that i'm not and probably i'll never be.

i love my husband for loving me at my worst, when i feel i don't really deserve to be loved. he is forgiving and so are my kiddos. mommy is mean sometimes and truth be told, i've been dubbed the meanest mommy in the world at times.

while i go through my changing moods which are dangerous around certain days and an identity crisis which might have to do with nearing middle age (yikes!) i know that i can hold on to something that's truer than how much i love pizza.

although i'm impatient, my worst critic, clumsy, passionate, eager to do too much all the time, forgetful and trying to let go of anxiety over petty things, I am the child of someone bigger than all of it. God takes me in as i am, that big ball of mess that I myself am trying to figure out and loves me day in and day out. he kneads out all the lumps and smooths things out perfectly. my identity is in Him, in Christ. and that should be where i look towards each day. no exceptions.

during the past couple of weeks, i've read many posts that have resonated within me on how we women think, what we feel, what we go through. some have been stretched thin emotionally and physically with no time left to deal with it all and bottle it up. two words: no.bueno.
so i thought that we should have a motivation to look into ourselves and hash stuff out that stressing us out in a healthy way. think: 'me time.'

starting next week, i will be hosting my first link-up (insert nervous awkward happy dance), with the purpose of encouraging all of us women to live happier, live better.
that might be running a good three miles every morning to clear your mind, writing things down, worshiping your heart out, or kneading dough. whatever it is for you, blog about it and join me so together we can encourage one another. i get so encouraged by all of you on a daily basis and I know others would too.

photo credit

i'll post more details on it on Monday after a much needed weekend break. these days have no shame anymore on how fast they go by!

ps. in the meantime, if you need prayer please know although i'm imperfect, i'll be more than happy to pray for you. email me:
leahmtz@gmail.com

linking up with:

An Aloha Affair