silverspoon fed. yeah, not quite. cuddled a little too much, maybe yes.
you know how some people get their first job at like 14? i got my first job when i was 20.
people get their driver's license at 15, didn't learn to drive until i was 21.
people move out of their parents the eve of their 18th birthday. didn't move out until i got married, and have never lived in a different city than my parents. in fact never more than 15 or 20 minutes away.
you could say it's actually pretty lame, but when i got married, i never really became independent either. i just hid behind another shadow and placed my dependancy onto someone else.
flat tire. call the husband.
left the keys inside the house. call the husband.
got a notice in the mail. tell the husband to call.
there's a wasp inside the house, tell the husband.
need an oil change.. you got it. call the husband.
i got so used to this way of being that it just seemed natural to me and he has always been so gracious to come to my rescue.
until last week, i got a flat tire and the kids needed to be picked up from school. husband was far away and wasn't going to get there in time. instead of just waiting around, possibly crying a little bit, i braved the storm. well traffic in this case. yes risky and possibly not the safest choice, but i knew a tire repair shop was not very far and with emergency blinkers on and being flipped off by a couple of drivers that were not as empathetic, i made it to the shop, told the guy what i needed, paid for my repaired tire and picked up my kids.
the saturday following, i left my keys inside the car while it was running. i panicked and called the husband. when he didn't pick up right away, i grouped myself together and called roadside assistance. when the husband returned my phone call, i very grown up like and matter of factly simply informed his assistance was no longer required as roadside assistance was on the way.
you guys. i know some of you might be wondering how i've managed to keep three kids alive if i panic when my keys are left inside a car. but seriously, it felt like a monumental day for me. mrs. independent woman who doesn't need a man...wait that's another channel and totally kidding, but a woman who can be independent in letting go of fear and the feeling of being incapable of certain things.
in a way i've always been hiding behind the shadow of my parents and my husband. now i'm not saying i'm going to branch off, rebel and not consider my husband anymore. absolutely not, i need someone to pay the bills. kidding again. but what i am saying is that i felt so good about myself for recognizing that i can do things on my own without always calling my husband or dad to rescue me.
this feeling of slight independence has me wanting to chase the dreams i've kept behind the shadows much more now than before. it's so weird and almost ridiculous. but you know, i really like it.
who knew that a flat tire could lead to such revelation?
how about you, do you consider yourself pretty independent?
8 comments:
i consider my self a bit like you lol. I think maybe we just married really good men who take far to good care of us. lol
I was 17 when i got my license and that was b/c my mom made me...she needed help taking my siblings to school!
What a beautiful moment! I rely VERY heavily on my husband, too, but you've learned an incredibly important lesson: you are capable. God needed you to know that. How exciting!
i was the opposite, I wanted my freedom and independence asap! I went job hunting on my 16th birthday and got my license as soon as possible...i learned to change a tire once i got my license...i moved out at 18...LOL...i didn't realize how much freedom I wanted until I read your post!
Ohhh I know what you mean. I was the exact same way, and still am in some ways. A few years ago I gained a huge streak of independence and that was a great feeling, and now here I am on this interesting life path and like you in your situation, I'm sorta forced into figuring it out on my own. It's pretty liberating and rad (and a tiny bit scary!)
Now that I've been married for 5 years I have become so dependent on my husband! I really just need to be totally dependent on the Lord!
I'm the same way, or was. Kinda still am? Whatev, lol. I'm workin' on it too :)
I rely a lot on my family as well...and I think that's totally ok, but I think it's fantastic that you have a wave of independence and are going to do things that you've been wanting to do. That's awesome! I wish I lived 15 mins from my parents. I live about 2 hours away and it's too far!
I was the opposite! Lol! I found my first job at 15. Haha. It's been an adjustment for me to rely on my husband and try to not always do it myself! Balance is still hard, but I'm lucky as well to have a husband to call on if needed!
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