not just some rosemary.

you want to know what's the best feeling? when someone does something special for you and leaves you feeling so thankful and fuzzy inside. 

last week, a friend out of the blue promised to take me some rosemary from his garden. a couple of days went by and i didn't have my rosemary. it was no big deal, but i would tease him that my grandma's recipe for rosemary chicken was waiting on him. he jokingly would hide from me because he had forgotten yet again.

yesterday as i was coming into work he called me over to his desk, and as i walked up he had a huge bag of rosemary overflowing out of it. it was pretty hilarious, well not for the girl with allergies, but instead of simple cutting a few sprigs and handing them to me, he said he would bring them over to my desk. 

bob seller is not his real name. it's an inside joke at the company we work at

after a good while, and me starting to think he had forgotten yet again, lol, he handed me a nice little bunch wrapped with a red ribbon and a little printout of what rosemary can be used for! it was such a nice touch!

and to think he did that for each of the people he promised rosemary to. 

i mean something like a bunch of rosemary which may seem nothing of the extraordinary, but it's those little details that make something more beautiful, more filled with love. 

it's such a reminder to do every small thing with love, with my full heart, not ever forgetting those small little details that might will make any other day, one to always remember and inspire others to do the same.

 

what has someone done for you that inspired you or made you feel special?

to be inspirational.

since starting this blog, i've asked myself quite a bit of times where i want this to go?
is this truly for documenting my life for just me and my family, is it just an outlet for my creativity, or something bigger?

over the past few weeks, i've told myself i want this blog, this space to be a source of inspiration. whether it be for mothers, wives, healthy lifestyle seekers, women, believers, etc.
i want to be used to inspire and encourage. yet a lot of the times i don't feel like i have a lot to bring to the table.

when i look at my life, i haven't written a book, i'm  not a famous artist, i don't have a perfect marriage, i have self image issues i still struggle with, i don't have motherhood figured out completely, i have horrible grammar, i ramble without really making a concise point.
how can i ever be an inspiration to others when i don't have things together?

and this is where i always get stuck. this is where i stall. and i feel defeated.

these past couple of days, i've been dwelling on that thought. and i have finally realized: who does?

who honestly has it together? who honestly leads a perfect life that is worthy enough to be of inspiration?

nobody. nobody has it together, nobody has it perfect.

see, what i'm starting to finally realize is that being inspirational doesn't only come from  being famous, or having an established business or having numerous book deals. it also comes from  having the right perspective. whether you see the glass half full, or half empty. it comes from falling hard but standing up and trying again. it is in those that make mistakes, sometimes ugly ones, but learn from them and next time do better. it can be found in those that choose to be transformed into beauty from ashes. that's inspirational. that's a breath of fresh air.

and for me, that's where powerful stories are born. not in perfect situations, but in the middle of a mess that isn't powerful enough to keep you down. in being honest and raw about our heart and letting others know, hey i'm kinda messy, i got a past, i struggle but i'm pushing through it.
those are the stories my heart seeks. those are the ones that i look up to in being real and allowing me and others in to know i am not alone. that we are not alone.


i'm going to keep it real with you all. sometimes it won't be the right post for you, but for someone else it might. sometimes it will be a little sad but that will be what my heart feels at that moment, in that same token the next day it might be completely lighthearted because that's just how i function.
but i will not hold anything back that my heart feels to pretend i have it perfect.


and that's what i hope for this space to be. for me to share my falls, my struggles and victories with anyone who graces these words. and in the middle of it, even if it's just a small sliver, that i can inspire someone with my words, in sharing struggles that they too might be facing, in sharing my brokenness that i experience from time to time still and encouraging that life is a gift and must be experienced to fullest (see, run on sentence) because we are all in it together, and that is a perfect inspiration in itself.

we are all inspirational. we all have something beautiful to bring to the table. we all have an amazing  story to be told. your life is a beautiful inspiration.

scripture saturday: rain down.

we stayed in our cars for a good while. it was pouring down HARD. the raindrops sounded almost like hail on my windshield and we could not see anything through the windows.

then, it was hail. hard enough to feel like my windshield was going to break any moment. feared crept up, debated going home instead. we waited.

when the hail stopped, we all made a mad dash inside. 

and as the storm grew louder, our voices grew even louder then. 

our hands were lifted, our hearts in an offering. 

and in that moment, our voices in unison with the enormous raindrops hitting the windows, the Lord made His presence known. 

even in the storm, no matter how ugly, how deep the howling of the wind, your heart as it seeks the Lord will always find His righteousness and salvation. 

because He is faithful to those that draw near to His heart. 

may you have a weekend full of close moments with the Lord. 

adventurer. (La Push, WA)

(lyrics from Addison Road 'What do I know of Holy?'

i'm not usually the first person to say 'i want to get out of the house. let's just drive and drive and see where we end up.'

i'm more comfortable in my own setting, knowing my surroundings, knowing what's coming next.

this is why as i stood at the shore of the Pacific on la push beach, a hunger for adventure was awakened within me.

see, going to forks, wa was on our agenda while on our trip.

i wouldn't say we're avid twilight fans, but we've seen the movies and was curious to check out the place.

little did i know what a loooooong trip it would be. it was an all day adventure. halfway there, i was regretting the decision and wanted to turn back, but it'd be silly so we kept going.

all the while my 'homebody' mentality grumbled under my breath.

when we arrived, and i looked out, it hit me.

there is so much out there. standing there in a small beach on the most northwestern corner of our country, facing a majestic ocean, i was enamored by it all.

sure i've been to the beach. but this was somehow different.

it may have been the serenity that drew me in.

the history behind it.

the soothing yet roaring waves of the water.

i left a piece of my heart in that place, because it's where the adventurer in me was brought to life.

so the question remained in me for the next couple of days:

where do i need to travel, what kind of adventure must i go on next?

and i felt defeated because unless i quit my job, leave my children with a full time nanny, and pull out all my savings, i wouldn't be traveling all over the world to feed my hunger for adventure anytime soon. and my heart sank.

but here's the thing i somehow realized:

my life itself can be lived out as an adventure.

i see what's in front of me and sometimes see no possibility, while God sees a great adventure ahead.

His plans, His dreams for me are far beyond what I can imagine.

maybe it doesn't involve flights, luggage and sightseeing.

maybe it just involves living my life as if it were the last day, giving Him glory every minute.

because while i think i have everything figured out, and while i think there is nothing more than my daily routine, God has something bigger.

He's the one that tells that ocean where to stop. He will tell me where to go.

He's my captain, and i must remember to let him steer. While he's at the wheel, i will be used for the greatest work of all. He will be the one to open doors for me that i think don't even exist. He is my guide in this great adventure of life and i must remember that when i feel like nothing has been accomplished.

so here i am, waiting and keeping my eyes peeled for what's coming next.

no doubt, whatever it is, it will be great.

this kind of joy.

last night, i wanted to make an excuse to not attend service. it was cold, rainy and i am battling a cold.

despite my warm bed calling, i went. and the Lord spoke.

He reminded me that His joy is my strenght. In heartache, in battles, in the middle of the ocean's rage. His joy will uplift me, revive me, keep me moving forward. He asked that i get up and carry His joy regardless of the arduous mountain i'll have to climb.

I will not falter, I will not fall because He walks beside me.

love yourself better.

being a woman is difficult at times. can i get an amen sistas? it may have something to do with hormones raging just about any time of day,

but we struggle with so much i think.

emotions sometimes get out of control and before we know it

we are in a place where we are just so unsure of ourselves and don't know how to quite love ourselves unconditionally.

i've met so many women who struggle with that.

i was there for so many years.

it is so important that we as women love ourselves and recognize our worth. when we don't, it can be so damaging to not only ourselves but to our loved ones...and sometimes to our waistlines. :)

i wanted to share with you all a few lessons that i've learned along the way and that have helped me love myself better.

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION:

Being that this is my love language, i always depended on others to tell me what i wanted to hear. when those words weren't spoken by the ones i hoped would, i didn't feel loved.

until i realized, why must someone else verbalize them, why can't it be me?

each morning look yourself in the mirror and remind yourself that you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have purpose.

not in a 'mirror, mirror who's the fairest of them all' kind of way,

but with heart.

you were beautifully made, don't ever doubt it.

if sticky notes on your mirror help, go for it. whatever works for you. but please let yourself know that everyday. your worth is far above rubies.

DO SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU SMILE.

For me, part of not loving myself was feeling unattractive.
Part of feeling unattractive was from not being happy. I cried often and worried even more. It began to deteriorate my inner beauty, my  spirit.
When you take time to do something that makes you happy, your soul will be also. then, your inner beauty will thrive and your outward smile will radiate that beauty.
i've noticed when i'm smiling (and not the i copied and pasted a smile on my face kind), i feel better about myself almost instantly. i stand taller, and feel stronger and more confident.
that in my book is a gorgeous girl.
strenght and confidence: qualities that help me love myself better.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH HAPPY PEOPLE.

many of us have people in our lives who are negative and are always looking to bring us down.
these are not the people that you want to surround yourself with if you are having a hard time loving yourself.
instead build stronger relationships with those that shine from the inside out. these people will uplift you and inspire you to live better. these kind of people will rub off their sparkle on you in the best of positive ways.
this is one of the many reasons why i love blogging. there
are so many inspirational, sparkly women around here!
and when you love and accept yourself for who you are, you can rub off that sparkle on those that once tried to bring you down.
it's the circle of life, as king mufasa would say.
after all we must love others as we love ourselves.
that one, jesus said.

whatever you might be going through today or whatever words someone has chosen to address you, know that no matter what, there can never be a more beautiful you and your worth is priceless.

now tell me, is there something you do to love yourself better?

linking up here:

desire to inspire 

light.

the new year is upon us friends with thoughts of what we wish for it to be, goals that we hope to attain, and plans to be lived happily.

last year i decided to choose a word that i wanted my 2012 year to abide by. my word was confidence.

confidence in who i am, confidence in the unknown.

as i type this, i look back on this past year and realize that my confidence although still shaky at times, has improved vastly.

i have taken steps of faith and it's made my heart sing like nothing else. i am able to hold on to the truth that my future is held by a God that is perfect and faithful.

this year, i want to take that confidence and share it with those that have none. i want to share it with those whose confidence has been broken. in thinking what my word for this year would be, i knew i wanted it to reflect love. reflect. then i decided.

for this 2013 year, my word is light.

i want to be a light to everyone i encounter, everyone that i meet. i desire to reflect love, gentleness and shine even in the deepest darkness.

i've held back before not really knowing if i could, not believing that i could be a light, thinking i didn't have anything in me that would be worth telling.

knowing that my identity is ultimately in God, i now know i can. i now know, i have purpose.

i desire to be light of the gospel and have it shine as it was intended to be. gentle, kind, and patient.

all in being confident that the good work that has started in me, will be done in His perfect timing and will. i am excited for my light to being shining.

I pray that 2013 may be filled with blessings for all of you and that your purpose continues to be lived out loud!

celebrate life.

this weekend was bittersweet. my husband was out of town since friday and missed him terribly. in the light of the recent Connecticut events, i wanted to squeeze him tight and let him know how much he meant to me. i had my kids with me though and i got to love on them and have a mini sleep over in my room both nights.

tragedy has a way of awakening our soul. it does mine, and all weekend my mind couldn't help but wander off to that quaint town where many homes had a somber and heartbreaking mood within their walls. we know that life is short, but this shakes me to acknowledge that it truly can go in the blink of an eye. the time we have been given is a gift. each morning is a gift and it should be celebrated. candles, balloons, cake and all; metaphorically speaking of course, unless you want to literally, then do it by all means. 

i think of how many times, i've let the day's frustration overwhelm me and spill into my relationships. specifically at home. how instead of picking my battles, i've chosen every single one over spilled milk. 

 life cannot be wasted over things that don't really matter and even the ones that do, can be handled with more grace.

when i'm gone, which inevitably will happen, i want my loved ones to remember me by one who celebrated life to the fullest. 

kiss your kiddos. tickle them spontaneously. bake cakes just because. have a sudden dance party. 

awaken them with a song. hide sweet notes in their lunchboxes. and light up their world everyday. 

don't limit it to your kids. celebrate life with your spouse, your loved ones who can so suddenly be taken away. 

seeing their little faces and their names made it more personable to me. i never met them, but their story has hit my heart like nothing else.
please, please, please. celebrate this life. live it with love and compassion.
let bygones be bygones. forgive as we've been forgiven. love and live like God intended for us to live.
loving eachother fully, with no holding back.
celebrate life and love until you burst.

wishing you all a beautiful and lovefilled monday.

hoping to inspire others here:

Let's Be Real

Desire to Inspire

 

a gorgeous spirit.

taken at f21.

as a girl,  i swoon easily over shimmer, frills, pearls,  and dare i say it... pink. the right shade of course.
i like to feel pretty. i like to be feminine in every way possible. 

however, i've carried a struggle within me for a while when it comes to beauty. 

it's the thin line that leads to defining self worth.

how much is too much focus on the outer appearance before it becomes the most important thing for a woman?

before it defines your happiness or who you really are?

one step.

fear has always been my greatest enemy. it has kept me bound and away from achieving anything that i've ever dreamed of, and believe me when i say i have a plethora of dreams.

it wasn't always the case though. my dreaming spirit had been hidden under the shadows of tears that overwhelmed my heart. really at that point, my only dream if i could call it that, was to see a day without any tears, without any agonizing sadness.

a sudden answered prayer lifted those shadows and the sun shone through brighter than i'd ever seen it.with it came a flood of dreams that rushed in. looking in hindsight, those dreams might have just been dormant and were awakened with this new life.

in the midst of those dreams, a songbird had been fluttering inside me for so long, wanting to be released. my fear of conflicting schedules, what someone thought of it, whether they would approve and million other excuses that piled up,kept that song quiet for a very long time. i heard God's voice over and over telling me to do it for His glory. I had been created with it, and it was selfish to keep it all to myself. It wasn't meant for me, it was for Him, for His glory to be exalted.

one shaky, fearful step of faith. just one. 'Hold me God. stay faithful to your promises. I can't do this on my own.' and He did.

leading worship fills my soul like nothing else. worship is my dance of gratitude, my dance of being swayed by His love. i don't lead it in a stadium, or in front of big crowds, but in a very intimate group. i like it that way. not for my glory. not for my limelight. but for His.

my voice is lifted to glorify His name and I'm fulfilling my dream, one of the many. through it every time, I am reminded that the dreams that lie in me, are given by Him for Him alone.

Fear cannot be a factor in achieving them only faith.

I have seen what taking that first step can do. Although still shaky, I am ready to leap to the ones that have yet to be fulfilled.

Do you have any dreams that are waiting to be lived? Go, take that first step!

linked up here:

An Aloha Affair

for a minute.

via 



more loaded than my to do list, are my pinterest boards. pin, pin, pin and never get around to doing it.

i came across the above quote a couple of days ago, exhaled, smiled, but forgot to pin.

influenced.

i'm messy (with my feelings and thoughts, not house or self image messy - just to be clear)and this post is probably going to be pretty messy, because I have so many thoughts going on, that i could lay them out and plan them out, but i get too excited about writing.
so here it goes.

influence.

we've read a ton about it in the last couple of days. i know i've read at least a dozen posts on it revolving around the influence conference that just took place a couple of weeks ago.
i didn't attend, but i feel like i did.

So, you wanna blog?

Sunday, I spent some time on a quest to find blogs that would inspire me.

This being my second go round at blogging, after a good hiatus, I was hit with the same feelings I had when I first began to blog.

will I write something witty and brilliant that people will want to read?

will my blog design be as trendy as the next blogger?

will I gain a 'respectable' amount of readers?

want to be her.

at work, they hold a biennial art show. i'm going for it this year and nervous off my rocker doesn't even begin to describe me. i created this piece about a year ago, actually longer, and it's never left my home. 

far from being professional, but when i look at it, it moves something a little inside me.