every story includes tears.

hannah's did.
as she bowed praying for a son, tears streaming down her face, her heart aching like never before.

sarah's did.
being tormented for years not being able to bear a son, and watching her maidservant conceive right away.

esther's did.
bound captive in babylon from her birth most likely, not knowing another life. being faced with a decision that could very well take her life.

ruth's did.
losing her husband, never having borne a child. nothing left to her name.

the woman at the well.
living a life that was frowned upon, possibly with no other real choice. coming to the well at the hour where others would not be there to taunt her, torment her.

all of these cried tears that we very well know. tears of bitterness, sadness, of being broken hearted.
we know these tears very well, because life brings suffering, and in this life there will be trouble.
in this life nothing is certain and things won't work out as we hope. and it hurts. honest to God it hurts.

yet, when we hope in Him. when we bring our heart to Him, He holds our tears. He sees, He hears and He comforts.

'those who sow in tears, will reap in joy.' psalm 126:5

and He prepares the harvest that we in due time will reap with joy.

hannah did.
sarah did.
esther did
ruth did.
the woman at the well did.

and you and i will. we will tell our story that includes tears in joy. tears that once blinded our sight for what was to come. though tears that He holds in His hands as part of the story.

and i will say amen to that.

reaching out.

i talked to her.
my neighbor.

i mean we had talked before like i said in my previous post. but never really talked, talked.

yesterday, my kids and i went for our daily walk around our neighborhood and she was out there with her babies. we exchanged words on the weather and her son came walking with us.

after monday's post and all of the encouragement i received from so many of you, i began to come up with ideas to invite her over and become friends.
yesterday i was reminded that moments ordained by God don't need fancy or planned moves. He sets it all up.

coming back from our walk, i don't even remember what i said to her, something about if she ever needed help with anything she could always ask me and then, just then, her whole life story spilled out.
three hours we were talking. three hours. when all i've ever exchanged with her are a few words.

her story... is heart breakening. i mean just thinking about everything she said to me had me in tears and as i type this i'm still in tears.
it's her story so i won't go into details of course, but this woman has been crying out for someone to talk to. someone to receive encouragement from. when i hugged her, she wouldn't let go.

it really goes to show everyone is fighting a hard battle and we don't even know it. or maybe we do, but become oblivious to it as to not interrupt our comfort zone. to not interrupt the bubble we have made up for ourselves that we would just focus on our own thing.
yesterday i had planned to get my blog design spiffied up, i had planned to finish laundry and get some pictures in of new goodies for the shop, though the way God changed my day completely around couldn't have been better.

it's a good thing when our world is moved around to welcome in new things. it's a good thing.

my neighbor.

i have this neighbor.

her kids and mine are relatively the same age, and from day one they've hit it off. they play together almost everyday and of course go to the same school together.

she and i have had some conversations outside while the kids play, but never really deep enough. just the casual. how are the kids, this weather is great, just scratching the surface.

i do remember one of the first conversations we had, she opened up to me and honestly caught me off guard. this woman whom i hadn't really engaged with opened up about her life. and at that point, i was only able to offer a few words of encouragement. and that was that.

since then, which easily was about three or four years ago, our acquaintance has not become anything else but that. until recently, i have felt a nudge to reach out to her. to get to know her. her story.

but i'm a little hesitant. not because i don't want to, i'm not sure how.

see, i've never really been good at putting myself out there. i've always been comfortable behind my front door. minding my own business. and so i think?

what if it gets messy? what if some boundaries are crossed? i mean, we live right next to each other for crying out loud! what if something doesn't go right?

but then....

what if it does? what if we find in each other encouragement, someone to lend out a helping hand to?
what if we find a new friend that we can trust?
what if i am able through that share my testimony and my story and listen to hers more?

i'm a little scared. i know it sounds silly, when i'm just offering friendship. but to this introvert, it's a whole new step. yet i'm reminded that this year i was led to choose the word selfless, and in this situation, i need to see beyond my uncomfort and step out into something new, knowing God will be leading me.

how do you usually try to connect with new women or new friends?

hello my name is.

today i'm joining kerrie , kerry , and alesha with another installment of:

you can read here to get more insight of the purpose of the link up.

 

i love knowing that the Lord in pulling me out of my darkness called me by my name. not by my failures, or past, but by name. a personal calling.

 

and throughout my walk with Him, in every changing season, He gives me a new name. a name that teaches me what He needs me to be, where He is calling me to next.

 

today in this season, my name is humbled

 

now i know that maybe it should read as humble and not humbled, but that would mean that i am there already, humble as Jesus, giving freely, not thinking of himself. but i'm not.

 

through this season, the Lord is ripping away every little bit of pride that resides within my heart. pride that has kept me from forgiving completely as He's forgiven me. pride that has kept me from freely encouraging out of pride for myself. pride that has kept me sitting comfortably in my seat instead of serving as He would.

 

He has been working in that part of my heart gently yet relentlessly as He knows my desire to serve and be more like Him. it's been hard, some of it painful, yet i know the end will be more beautiful than i could ever imagine.

 

what is the name you are being called by the Lord today?

 

 

all part of one Team.

i've been thinking a lot about encouragement lately.

you know, through this whole blogging community, i've been pleased to see more encouragement than not. i know that there are those situations where things can get ugly with comments and opinions, and of course jealousy. but more times than not i see sisters cheering each other on, encouraging each other through the hard days, offering a virtual hug to cry on, and internet friendships becoming real ones.

i gotta say that's such a beautiful thing. but more beautiful than it itself, is seeing Jesus through it all. the Body coming together.

when i first started this whole blogging thing, it was hard not to see it as competition. the whole followers thing, i gotta say, consumed me for a good while. it was eating me alive in jealousy and it was either get out of the blogging journey or stop focusing on it.
thankfully it was the latter.

over the course of the past few months, i've been humbled to see that it's never been about me. it's always been about Him. i know that may sound cliche. i've read that on so many posts before, but there's really no other way to say it. we're all here to tell our story, which could not be, if it wasn't for Him. so cliche sounding or not, it is the truth.
it's been about Him working through us, humbling us, molding us, connecting us for a bigger purpose: to bring Him glory.

and one of the ways as the Body we do that is by lifting each other up. encouraging each other, being on each other's team. we're all sisters, mothers, wives, women. whatever season you may find your self in. We all belong to one Team.
Here there is no 'my team'
to me that sounds like a members only deal. and within the Body all are welcome to receive encouragement, support, and fellowship. i realize that we may connect more easily with some more than others, and that's okay. but extending out the welcome to everyone, the encouragement is where it begins.

and it always begins with you and me. reaching out and encouraging.
you know,sometimes it may feel as though we don't have much to offer, especially with being a thousand miles apart and only a screen connecting us. but even then the power of an encouraging word knows no limitation.
let's be each other's cheerleaders. that is all that one person may receive that day, in the midst of cheerios all over the floor, a marriage that is stumbling, a sense of insecurity venturing into something new, or life taking a turn for the unexpected.
i know it first hand. to know someone is there that cares, means the world. to know that someone is lifting you up prayer, whoosh. it blows my mind.

if we were all here, i'd certainly invite you to hold hands and sing kumbaya. no joke. well maybe a little. but i'd sure hug each one of you and offer encouragement and thank you for yours.

how have you felt encouraged lately?

 

 

linking up with:

when mercy found me.

mercy found me on my bathroom floor.


okay, let me back up a little bit.
if you were to ask me what i'm extremely passionate about these days, i would tell you i'm passionate about Jesus' love and telling others about it.

however, that wasn't always the case. there's no way i could feel passionate about Jesus' love before, because i hadn't felt it before.
it was always existent and reaching out, but i didn't feel worthy of receiving it and therefore didn't.
it wasn't until about around two years ago that i felt that love.
before that time, my heart was completely lost.

i didn't feel loved enough, i didn't feel like i was good enough at anything or for anyone. i felt like a failure and honestly spent most of my days with a sad heart. just going through the motions of the days. taking care of our home as best as i could, of my kids the best way i could and i know that most of their childhood they saw me sad. that breaks my heart into a million pieces.
my family would attempt to reach out to me, my husband and i were always arguing.
my world was a mess. and i wanted nothing more than to leave it. it was too painful, there was no hope, i felt worthless and i wanted out.

that day, locked and sitting on my bathroom floor, i contemplated ending it. i needed to end the pain i felt so huge in my heart that nothing could fill.

but mercy found me on my bathroom floor. mercy reached out to the very deepest darkest part of my heart that day and shone a light so bright that made me see all the lies i had believed.

i wasn't worthless, i wasn't a failure, i wasn't meant to end God's story that day.

for so long, He had pursued me relentlessly, but i was so convinced those lies were true. until His truth shattered the barrier and let His love in.

i finally felt that relentless, forgiving, unconditional, never ending love and my heart began to beat again. it's been beating on fire ever since.

there's a song we sing at church 'cause i never want to go back to my old life, i need you more'
when i think about my old life, where my heart was. i never, ever, ever, want to go back to that.
where i am now is where i was always meant to be, secured and safe in His arms.

and that's why i'm so passionate about this love of His. it rescued me, it set me free, it gave me life again.

**friend, if you are anywhere where i was, know that you are loved, that you are not worthless. i'd love to pray over you. shoot me an email if you need to hear more about this incredible, beautiful love.

 

 

joyful + free print + prayer request

 

 

(pretty please use for personal use)

 

 

 

oh happy day, it is friday yall!

 

this week has just flown by hasn't it? but it has been a good week overall. God has been faithful and present and His joy has just been felt ever so.

 

you all may remember i had mentioned a devotional i was reading with the kiddos. max lucado's one God, one plan, one life and trying to find a good steady schedule for it.

well, this week, i made it a point to wake up earlier and get the kids up earlier also so that we would have time to get our quiet time before school.

guys, the peace of the Lord is so amazing. the past few morning have been nothing like our usual mornings, running around, a few yells, grumpy faces and grumpy hearts.

everyone just lazily mossies into the living room and hears what God has prepared for us that day.

i think it sorta helps too since they're still sleepy and don't have energy to be jumping around and bickering! ha.

but even in the afternoons as they come home, i've noticed a more relaxed attitude with all of them.

i'm one pleased and thankful mama.

the Word doesn't lie when it says seeking Him will bring within us new joy, and unsurpassing peace!

 

i, also wanted to ask you all for prayer. there are a few things that the Lord is moving around within the hearts of our family. in due time i will share, but if you would please pray with me that the Lord would continue to place peace in our lives and that He would guide whatever steps are to come.

and if it wouldn't be too much trouble, i've been dealing with ugly back pain the last few days.

at the end of the day, i can't take it and yesterday i finally had to take some extra strenght pain reliever. not sure where it's coming from, but if  you could help me pray for relief, i'd appreciate you so much.

 

well, that is all from me today friends. i really enjoy having this community and each of you. i hope you all have a beautiful friday and a splendid weekend!

 



 

instagram / twitter

 

 

linking up here:

 

 

and to whom be the glory?

 

 

Jimmy Needham said: the most dangerous place for a human heart is the stage.

 

i couldn't agree more.

the stage, the place where one is elevated already by the platform itself but where all eyes are on you. it could be nerve wrecking, and humbling and it actually is. it's a moment to share your gifts with others, but there's a really thin line leading to self pride when we forget that what we've been given are indeed gifts. gifts graciously given by God.

 

and in some ways it begins innocently. receiving that first compliment.

'you sing so pretty. you nailed that sermon. you speak so eloquently....
you're did so good.'

 

as a worship leader and speaker at my church, I'm going to be down right honest and tell you those compliments have made me feel good about myself, that I was capable and that I was doing something right. and before I knew it, I craved those words. if nothing was mentioned after the service I felt like I had failed, like I didn't deliver so to speak.

although I knew it, I failed to remember that I hadn't been chosen to receive any of the glory. All glory belongs to my God.

i am simply a messenger of the Lord.

And though it may be with the best intentions, we may forget to give God all the glory when we compliment someone as well on their ministry, focusing on how well they did instead of how beautiful God used them.

 

a thin line.

 

am I saying to never give a heartfelt encouraging word? Not at all.
however, we must always remember that our gifts were given by the Lord and therefore all glory belongs to Him. not an ounce of it belongs to us.
never glorifying the person because of how well they can write, or how well they can sing/speak/dance, you get the picture. admiring of course their talent, but never glorifying.

 

I'd go on a limb and say I'm not the only one who has struggled with this and still does at times.

because pride can be so sneaky and in a world where fame seems like everything, it can be so tempting to believe that whatever talents we possess are because of something we've done to deserve them, when the clear truth is we've done nothing to deserve the Lord wanting to use us for His glory alone.

it's a priviledge to be a servant, a messenger. never the one with the spotlight.

 

To Him be the glory forever and ever. :)

 

 

 

goals schmoals.

can i tell you something?

i'm overwhelmed. like i feel like i'm drowning and gasping for air overwhelmed.

sorry for the heavy intro on a monday morning. last week i didn't post at all, simply because i had no energy to. i didn't want to sit in front of a computer and type away even though i love blogging.
but it had become another to do on my list. and that sucks the fun out of anything, doesn't it?

see this year i wanted to be reeeeallll intentional with everything. motherhood, being a wife, with my faith, my projects. all of it. this is the year that i wanted to check off everything i intended to do and feel a real sense of accomplishment. i didn't want to end the year feeling like i didn't do anything. like i just mossied my way through it.
 i thought that maybe writing out goals each month would help me stay on top of it, and accomplish things..

but honestly, it's barely two months in and i feel tired and overwhelmed.
as february passed by and nothing on my list was getting checked off, i became anxious and grumpy
because there were not enough hours in the day, because chores were still left undone, because i didn't spend as much time with my kids, because i left my quiet time with God till the end of the week.
something wasn't working. and what i realized was that i always try to make what works for others work for me.

yes, comparison.

i see other mommas having craft time with the kiddos, put that on my list.
i see other women filling up orders for their business, put that on my list.
other moms having their home right out of a pinterest board, yes, put that one on my list too.

and so my list kept building up. my expectations kept increasing, yet since an extra eight hours in the day did not magically appear, unless i wrote off sleep for good, my emotions, my attitude just kept on debunking day by day.

recently i read an article or could have been a post about a suitcase. i'll try to sum it up.
basically we all get a suitcase and at the end of this road when we look into that suitcase, we want to make sure we packed up the things that really, truly mattered. and it breaks my heart as i type this, because i'm a stubborn woman, and even though i know this, the things that really matter lots of times take the backseat.

i don't want to do that anymore. i want the people and things that matter to be always in my suitcase.

so i'm tossing out my itemized monthly goals. don't get me wrong. goal making is a good thing, if it works for you. for me monthly goals are overwhelming me at the moment.

the family photos, business cards, getting the house decorated, etc, etc. will come when they come. at the end of the day it's not all that important. however my God, my family, my kids. that matters.
and that is what i want to focus on. in light of it, i feel like placing time with God and with my family shouldn't even be on a goal list.

we don't put eating or breathing on a goal list, because it's something vital to our life. so is spending time with God and with our family.

 giving myself more of Jesus, showing my kids and husband Jesus, showing my community Jesus.

those three things i want my life song to be about. there, lifesong. that sounds better, don't you think?

letting go of the goal list starting today, grabbing hold of my life song.

what are your thoughts on goal making?

a family in need.

image source

 

today was reserved for another post, but last night on my instagram feed i came across the picture above, clicked on it, and read a story that broke my heart.

 

misty and her family are going through a really, really difficult and testing season.

i cannot even imagine going through something similar.

i'll let you read her story as i won't do any of it justice.

 

and as i read myself last night, i could not contain the tears and the pain and wondering why?

why all the suffering? why so much pain?

 

in His Sovereignty, only God knows. however we as sisters and brothers in Christ are called to action when one of His own hurts. and so in reading her story if you feel compelled to help out, reach out to katy and email her with ways you can help.

 

she is holding an auction next Tuesday for this family on instagram.

her username @KATYKRISTIN

or contacting misty directly would be great too.

 

guys, let's lift up this family in prayer. that the Lord may cover them all with His loving wings as He sees them through this.

 

something new.

source

so i'm typing this up at last minute.
because even as i type, i'm unsure and a little afraid. okay a lotta afraid.
it's funny how typing out those words, make this a little comforting. just to make it known i really don't know how to thread about things and have no clue at what may come.

the last few weeks, my heart has been really uneasy.
i've been thinking over and over on what i am to do in this lifetime.

where i am now, i don't feel like i'm fulfilling my purpose. not one bit.
i'm grateful for my job, yes i am. it pays the bills, allows for my family and i to enjoy a meal out here and there and so forth. but am i really spending my day using what God gave me?
and so that has been the question on my heart. and the answer has been a resounding no. i'm not.
i know i'm to glorify the Lord with everything, and i mean everything i do. and that includes my job. however, i feel like if i've had this uneasiness about it, it must mean i'm being pushed to step out of it and chase what has always been my joy.

art. creating. making.

my dream has always been to own a little studio and lately my heart has been on community, families and kids.
how am i impacting my community?

i'm the first one to hide away in my home with my kids after school. sure we wave and smile at our neighbors, but am i really, really reaching out? no. sadly i'm not.

creating an event for the community has been something i've always been wanting to plan and execute. but. oh the buts.

but what if it's horrible?
what if nobody attends?
what if no one likes it?

and just today as hesitated to write this out because i thought, maybe i'll pray more about it, maybe i'll wait a little bit more. i read carrie's post and jessi's and could God be any more clear?

could He be any more clear about us just doing it.
just going for it? just starting out and letting HIM do it all?

friends, i have no clue where this will lead. heck, i don't even really have a plan, but i know He does.
and one thing i know to be true is that things in His hands will be bigger and better than we could ever imagine. and for however long He wants it and how He wants it will be a greater blessing, as long as He walks before it.

so today i ask that you help me pray for this new little movement that will begin:

Kreative Kids will be an organization that will take art/craft fairs to the communities where kiddos will be able to craft and paint exercising their creativity among other children, and building a community among mothers based on the beautiful Gospel of Jesus. and maybe one day, if it it's what God wants, it will turn into a permanent home somewhere where kiddos will be able to come in any day of the week.


and here's where i do something a little more scary and out of my comfort zone. i ask for your help.
gulp.

if you would feel so inclined to help out, whether it'd be monetary or with art supplies, would you email me? even if you'd like to spread word. every little bit will help as i plan for this to be free/donation based to the community.
but most importantly, and i really mean this, your prayers are priceless. please pray for me and this, that God would move.
i know i'm not even ready for what is about to come, i just know it.


here's a huge virtual hug! ((    ))

nine years.

yesterday, this cutie pie turned nine.

a little more than nine years ago, i received the news i was going to have a little girl. and my heart squealed for joy.
the Lord had blessed me with my oldest son, and i had always wanted to have a little girl as well.

can we all agree that little girls are so much fun in their own way?
i mean the dressing up, the tiny nail painting, and pretty pink everywhere.

it's funny in the midst of the excitement, you forget that small detail of that little girl looking up to you as their role model.
and when i realized that, a bit of panic set in.

throughout the years, i've tried so hard to teach her how to be a lady, to know she is beautiful the way she is, to be strong but loving and all those things have started to sink in. i see it as her personality continues to flourish.

but i know that none of that matters as much as teaching her to be a God fearing girl.

a girl that loves God with her whole heart, mind and soul.
one that puts her value on Him alone, and understands that she is beautiful and worthy because Christ lives within her.
a girl that would encourage others with the love of Jesus thriving within her day in and day out.

those things are the ones that i pray she would embrace and i know, i know she is looking at me and my way of living to see if i'm living those truths fully.

so not only do i thank the Lord for these wonderful nine years He's allowed me to be her mother,
to witness her spunkiness and her creativity, and to receive lots of hugs and kisses from her,
but i also pray that He would continue making me more like Him, so i can teach her by example how to wihtout reserves, love Him and become the woman He intented for her to be.

happy birthday my sweetheart. i love you to the moon and back.

happy friday freebie!

free print. please use for personal use only.  

can i make a confession today?

i love when the cold weather comes around.

you have to understand, i live in texas where we wake up to triple digits during the summer, so it's a huge relief when the cold arrives.

but you know? i'm over it.

it's been cold for so long now, that i need some sunshine!!

i'm not asking for triple digits, but can we please get out of the thirties?

 

i know i'm going to get eye rolls on that one from people up north. so i apologize for being a baby.

 

we've been spending a lot of time indoors and meredith andrews is one of my favorite christian singers to listen to. this is the new song we sing is one of my favorites that we sing at church. it's just so energetic and such a joyful song.

 

so if you need a good lift me up song, this is it.

 

hope you all have a lovely and blessed weekend!


this week at a glance:

\\FEBRUARY GOALS
\\MADE
\\WHY DO THEY CRY


 

 

TWITTER / INSTAGRAM / SHOP / BLOGLOVIN

why do they cry?

 

a few weeks ago, talking with my sister, she told me of a guy she had met at college. just friends, though. no future brother in law here.

and they got into the topic of religion. and one of the things that he said, got me thinking and at the same time i thought it was curious that people observe such things.
he said that he didn't really go to church because it bothered him that people cry in church and wondered why they cry.

it was confusing to him why someone would cry when nothing sad was going on.

that was more than a month ago, but just yesterday this conversation came back to me, and i thought more upon it.

why do believers cry in church? why do believers cry during worship?

we cry tears of joy at being gifted the greatest prize of them all. one that we could not earn, no matter how much we tried. one that we could not pay, no matter how much money we could have. it was gifted, freely!...

...at being chosen by a new beautiful name, when the past has called us failures, unworthy, ashamed, guilty. we have been picked out individually to be royal priesthood. at being made free! (1 peter 2:9)
(galatians 5:1)

we cry tears from comfort, knowing we never will walk this life alone. even when life gets extremely overwhelming to the point of breaking, we can run to arms that are always, always, open and be comforted. (deuteronomy 31:6) (hebrews 13:5)

we cry tears of thankfulness. standing in front of the one who loves us beyond our imagination. the one who would give everything in a split second and already has for us. the one who writes our story and let me tell you, it's a good one! (john 3:16) (romans 8:35-39)

we cry tears of sorrow when we are taken through the fire and our hearts hurt in the middle of it all. although we know that the end result is always for our refinement and good. (jer 29:11) (zechariah 13:9)
life can get painful at times, yet when we are in the middle of worship, we remember reasons the reasons above and cry some more because we are blessed indeed.

believers may be big cry babies to some, but man, when i think about it, it's for really darn good reasons. reasons that non believers should also have the chance to know.

we are chosen, free, loved, comforted, refined, and never alone.
hallelujah, let the waterworks begin!

what's your favorite part of worship?

footnotes:

1 peter 2:9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

galatians 5:1 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery

deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

hebrews 13:5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

john 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

romans 8:35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?

jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

zechariah 13:9 This third I will put into the fire; I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, 'They are my people,' and they will say, 'The LORD is our God.'"

 

only Jesus can + free printable

(free printable for perssonal use)

well hello friends!
it is a glorious friday, and i hope your indoors warm and cozy, unless you're in california and are able to wear flowy skirts and t shirts. then get out there and enjoy the sun.

whether you're out and about or cozied up at home i just wanted to share today a song i've had on replay. we practiced this song last night for tonight's service and i'm pumped.
such a great reminder that only Jesus can.

whatever you need in your life. restoration, redemption, healing, love, peace, joy....you name it!
only Jesus can.

have a wonderful friday loves!

dreams.

 

what would you do if fear wasn't an option?

i read that somewhere and sunday afternoon, those words came back to me loudly.
it was a day of laying low, relaxing, painting, crafting, laundry or the intention of doing laundry, and towards the afternoon some park time.

i watched my little girl jump from one side of the playscape to the other like nothing. i'm talking literally jumping, swinging, acrobatics on the rails of it, without pause. then she swung as high as she could and jumped off the swing. landed on her feet.
as i got off the carousel looking thing that kids will go round and round on as another pushes it, after begging mercy, she laughed and said, 'mom, you're too scared. nothing will happen!'

kids have such a way of bringing things into perspective huh?

i've been thinking a lot about dreams this year. everything that i've always wanted to accomplish, and you know what? it's kinda scary.
scary because it's exciting. scary because i'm not sure how i will accomplish it. scary because i don't know if it'll be good.
and so i'll just spend my time dreaming, without doing. i'll talk it through in my head over and over.

and we all know where dreams end up that way. no where, that's where.

fear need to go, it needs to be ripped away from our being. but the only one that can really do that for me, is God.

i firmly believe if i have dreams, especially those that are to glorify Him, have been placed in my heart by Him.
the first step is coming boldly to the throne and speaking up on your dreams. telling Him as a child would tell their mother with stars in their eyes, chatting away excitedly. Lord, I want to do this, and i'd so love to accomplish this..

He won't laugh, He won't squirm.
He will listen attentively and smile at us making that first step in bringing our dreams and desires to the throne. and fear will be removed, because then we will have His encouragement and His love. And perfect love drives out fear.

He will guide us on the next step, open doors that we need to have opened, give us creativity to keep moving, until it is completed and our dream is complete.
but you know what though? it may never be really complete. because what i've learned is that anything in the Lord's hands keeps getting bigger and bigger.

so just one word of caution, when we come to the throne with our dreams, just be prepared to have your dreams be handed to you on a bigger scale.
Fear will no longer be an option.
Because perfect love drives out fear.

so, what would you do if fear wasn't an option?

praying for your kids.

(last year at Seattle)

i haven't always prayed over my kids.

there was a time not so long ago when my relationship with the Lord was iffy and well of course the relationship that my kids had with Him was iffy too.

it's so crazy that as a mother, thinking that when they were little it didn't matter all that much. that when they got older, they would understand and would seek it for themselves.
but it matters. it matters even when they're in the womb. every prayer is not in vain.

as a parent we pray for our babies' health, that runny noses, ear aches and serious illness would be kept away. we pray for protection as they walk the school hallways from danger. we pray that they would meet friends that would encourage them and bless them.

but how often do we pray for their spiritual lives?

in the old testament, i love how abraham, isaac and jacob would place their hands over their children and declare blessings over them, that the Lord would uphold.
and what makes it different now? if we serve the same God.
it doesn't.

we as parents, mothers, have the same right to place our hands on our babies and declare not only protection and good health, but that the Lord would pursue their heart relentlessly so that they would know His love from early on. that He would bring them up to be warriors of the faith, that they would stand strong in the midst of trial and would be a bright light in the darkness.

in the same way as we wouldn't hesitate to cover them up in the face of a blistering wind with a warm blanket and wrap them up tight in it. do not hesitate to lift them up in prayer and declare great things over them. wrap them up in prayer every day. even if you're exhausted, even if there are still crumbs to be swept up from the day, let's not skimp on prayer over them. craft time and play time can be skimped on. but prayer cannot.

in this world fallen short of God's glory, they deserve to be lifted up. so let's make a revolution shall we? declare victory and great blessings over your children, that nothing could steal that away.

OVERCOMETHELINE - January tour. who do You say i am?

last week i jumped on a fast train and downloaded a few Beth Moore ebooks that were free, into my kindle app and i truly believe now, that my first pick Believing God was not a coincidence.
Those two words: Believing God stuck out to me loudly and i immediately began to read it.
sidenote. get the book. it's great and has been speaking such truth to my heart.

i highlighted, jotted notes down, and nodded through every page of the book. then chapter seven wrecked me. 'believing you are who God says you are.'

word by word, i began to see myself in that chapter. i believe that God says He is who He is, and that He can do what He says He can do. but. when it comes to me. when it comes to seeing myself, and really examining myself, i determine that i am not worthy, and quickly shy away from stepping confidently before Him, because..

maybe God can't use me as i have too much that needs repair.
maybe God doesn't want to restore me, because we keep falling.
maybe God has chosen others better to have their dreams fulfilled, because they're better Christians and they have better resources.
maybe we just are doing something wrong, and that's why are prayers are not being heard. maybe.

well, those thoughts don't sound like me coming boldly to the throne. those thoughts keep me from praying boldly before the throne and cowardly listening to the enemy instead.
it keeps me from reaching a level of extraordinary obedience, to reflect Jesus himself.

while the enemy tells me i'm not good enough and can't be deemed worthy, God tells me otherwise and i pray that God will continue reminding me, 'lest i forget. that i am worthy, not because of what i can bring or what i have done, but because of what He's done. and my past doesn't define me, my fears don't define me.
He defines me. His grace in giving His Son for me because HE LOVES ME, defines me.
i am worthy because of Him.

'In love I am blessed, chosen, adopted, favored, redeemed, and forgiven.' Believing God by Beth Moore.

//this post if part of a January blog tour by overcome the lie organization. please visit their site and be encouraged.

We exist to empower a generation of women to overcome the lie because Jesus overcame the grave.

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lessons.

i realize that part of bringing in the new year is doing away with the old, in with the new. putting away for good things of the past year, yet each year brings lessons with each season.
and what would lessons be if we didn't reflected and learned from them? looking back through 2013 and reflecting on it, there are a few lessons that i need to grasp for this new year.

and truth be told, i find it kind of weird that i'm doing so. that i'm actually grasping the new year with so much passion. because before to me jan 1 was just another day. but this year. boy this year i need things to happen. i need to stand at the end of 2014 and cry of happiness that things were different.

so in 2013 i learned that

time with God is of utmost importance. can't afford to go a day without it.
the days when i chose to make Him my priority, were the days i felt overwhelming peace. the days were i was most cheerful. when i looked at things differently. note to self, do not skimp on quiet time with the Lord.

also i learned, not everything needs to be said. biting my tongue can be a good thing. not all battles need to be tackled and some things can just be dropped. instead i can use my words in prayer for that person and let God do the rest.

envy is the devil. steals away joy, brings anxiety and discontent. they're them, i'm me. situations are different always and i need to get that. and if i continue to pour my desires out to God, He will make sure my dreams are fulfilled. noted.

the kids need quiet time with God too. it's not enough that i get in my quiet times to draw nearer to Him, if they stay in the same boat. growing spiritually needs to be made a family thing for every member to hold up strong.

and lastly, when God brings me to it, He will bring me through it. no doubt about it. i need to worry less and worship more.

i will be printing this out and placing it everywhere i need to be reminded of it. another year down, more lessons learned.

what are some lessons that 2013 brought you?

a selfless 2014

'tis the time when we begin to reflect on this past year. the blessings, the disappointments, the struggles and celebrations.
and we also begin to think of this next coming year. and while half of the world begins to write out a list of resolutions that won't be all kept, because who really likes lists, right?
some of us will write out a single word. a word that we want to live by for this next year. a word that needs to mark in how we will choose to live these next 365 days. or 366, don't really want to check right now.
as i began to think of what my word would be, i thought about patient, because Lord knows i'm not. i thought about forgiving, because He knows i need to. i thought about other words that i thought would fit well, that would be good to abide by.
but those were not it. there was a word that kept coming back to me and it was a tug on my heart. one that i don't think i would've chosen myself, but one i'm sure He wants me to be.

my word for 2014 is selfless.

now at first i found it funny because as i closed 2013 i felt spent. spent in a way where i just didn't feel like i had any more to give. i'm exhausted yall. physically, emotionally, mentally exhausted.
and just today i came across laura casey's blog and her whole making it happen series, and the first step was to ask myself, how am i? and that's how i am. completely spent.

so i wondered how being selfless would make me feel...not spent, but filled instead.

and  i realized, much of my hurt and unresolved areas of my heart at the end of this year, come from expecting of others to make me happy, to give me attention, to ask me for forgiveness first. to do right by me first. see the trend there? me, me, me.
and no wonder i feel spent! i've been putting me in the picture in the wrong way.

i know that in being selfless i will learn to be like Jesus. giving, forgiving, kind, unconditionally loving.

most importantly i will learn to let Him focus on me, when i stop focusing on me. while i'm emptied to be filled time and time again by Him alone.

i'm ready to be stretched yall. i feel like this year will be one where i will be taken through things i could never dream of. He's already opened up one door which i will blog about later and i'm pretty excited about. but i'm ready. i'm ready for Him to teach me selflessness.

what word will you be abiding by in 2014?