the 'from sratch' diaries: sweet potato empanadas

you know what's funny?

after yesterday's post on Jesus being my niche, i went home thinking i should post a recipe for today.. you know to balance things out. though i know He said we must not live on bread alone... ;)

and as i stood over my counter top yesterday evening peeling and and cutting sweet potatoes destined for a brave attempt at empanadas, i looked down at my cutting board and found a peculiar beauty in my chopped produce.

to appreciate this, you must know that my first victory in the kitchen was successfully cooking corn dogs in the microwave for my love and i. that was many years ago, but the kitchen and i have not always had a love affair, as the kind i've developed recently.
especially when making things from scratch.

i could have just as easily gone down to the little market in my neighborhood and purchased the empanadas, saved myself time (not money) and that would have been the end of that.
but making, cooking, baking  from scratch results in a sweet harmony when our hands engage in creating something from almost nothing.

hence being made in the image of our Creator.

i won't lie and tell you that my back and feet don't hurt when i'm done, and that there's usually more mess to clean up. however, i will tell you that as i look at my mess, my flour covered t-shirt, and my finished empanadas for my family to enjoy, i am overflowing inside. i used my hands and time to create something from almost nothing. from scratch.

and that's the way He works too. making something out of nothing. not only in creation, but in our lives too.
He takes what seems ordinary and creates. a dream into reality. a hope into a promise. a possibility into a fact. only His 'empanadas' come out perfect.

to encourage myself and hopefully you to engage more in the making from scratch, this is the start of a new series here: the 'from sratch' diaries.

what do you enjoy most making from scratch?

 

 

sweet potato empanadas:

the filling

2 medium sweet potatoes

raisins

cinnamon

nutmeg

sugar

the dough

3 cups of flour

salt 

1 egg

2 tbsps of vinegar

1 cup of cold water

1/2 cup sugar

mix the egg, vinegar, and water in one bowl. 

in another sift together the dry ingredients for the dough. 

make a well in the middle of the flour mixture and pour in the wet ingredients. mix with a fork until dough is stiff. knead until dough is smooth. 

wrap in a plastic bag or plastic wrap and store in fridge for about an hour and a half. 

while waiting start baking sweet potatoes. peel them and chop them into big chunks. place them in cookie sheet and bake until tender at 350 degrees. 

mash the sweet potatoes and mix with the rest of the filling ingredients. 

when the dough is ready, (it should not be sticky), cut a handful of dough and roll out on a flour sprinkled surface. cut out a 4-6 inch circle and fill with sweet potato filling down the center.

fold like a quesadilla and with the tines of a fork, seal the edges.

at 350 degrees, bake your empanadas for about 20-30 minutes or until golden brown on both sides. 

let them cool, and enjoy. 

 

 

my niche is Jesus.

oh my goodness yall, my heart was so happy yesterday.

it was such the perfect fall weather, and i have a feeling it's going to stick around now. yay!

alright, now that i shared my piece of happy news, time to get this post started. 

i'm nearing the one year anniversary of when i began to seriously, seriously blog. it's funny when i began to blog, i had truly no clue what to do. as i think the majority of us don't. although i'm still in the dark about many areas of blogging.  but  the one thing I had set in my mind on was not to be the 'too serious, too deep, too christian' blogger.

my goal was to be likable. and get big numbers aka followers.
being a debbie downer and writing on heavy stuff was not what people wanted to read.
my niche although i didn't really know what it was, it needed to be fun.
my identity from the get go was being decided upon the expectations my future readers had of me. You know because for a minute there I hit my head thinking I was some famous person and readers were waiting on the edge of their seats for my first post. riiiight.

boy, has my vision for this blog changed.

those 'debbie downer' posts that tell of my story, and of what Jesus is doing in me that I feared to write, have been the most freeing. they've allowed me to be real, transparent and although it's scary because you don't want anyone reading along while doing some eye rolling, writing those posts have been such an encouragement to my heart.
instead of making me feel down, they've uplifted me. they've sparked a passion in me.

i can write about the joys and woes of motherhood, marriage and being a woman knowing that someone out there will be able to relate as well.

the followers i was striving to obtain for the sake of having high numbers, many have become such sweet encouragers and sisters in christ whose posts also uplift me, and motivate me in my walk.
the word followers actually irks me. a community is what i have actually found.
a group of women that love to encourage, support and are truly genuine about it.
you don't find that very often in social media.
what a relief that has been for a girl jumping in to blog with expectations of high hopes of 'fitting in.'

and while i'm still just a year old blog, and hardly know the whole scheme of technicalities, numbers, monetizing, and whatever else comes with it, the one thing i do know is that my idea of who i am, in this blog gig, has changed.

not only am i a mother, a wife, a woman struggling with insecurities at times, and a blogger.

but i am a christian, Jesus passionate, community seeking girl who wishes to shout out and share what God is doing in my life.

for a girl that wanted to put 'too much christianity' on the back burner, that plan has backfired.
because in hindsight this part of me has never really been about me, but about Him.

so if i would have to choose a niche. it would be Jesus.
motherhood, marriage, lifestyle topics all fall freely on paper because my center, my identity comes from Him.

so here's to another year of blogging, should that be where the Lord wants me to be.
let's keep on blogging!

what is your favorite topic to write about?

xoxo leah

 

twitter / instagram/bloglovin

i meet with God in my car.

 (excuse the dirty mirror. i have kids that like to press their little fingers on my mirrors ALL the time.)

there was this trend i was noticing in me. i was forgetting to seek God.

my mornings are never slow. from the moment the alarm sounds, it's go, go, go. and even then there's never enough time.
the days i remembered (isn't that horrible) to get some quiet time with God in the mornings, it was always rushed. hardly ever fulfilling.
and in the evenings, it was one thing after another that pushed my quiet times further and further down the list.
enter an empy, overwhelmed, grumpy leah.

until one day, out of whim, i grabbed my bible on my way out the door. i was planning on getting some quick reading in at my desk before i started work. although i knew that with people around me, it wouldn't really be what i was looking for.
so at a stop light, i opened my bible and started to read the verse my eyes landed on.

'if you have faith, you will be given whatever you ask for.' matthew 21:22

a little bit of back story for you. my family and i have been praying over a specific area in our lives. sometimes it seems like the prayers don't get higher than the roof, and it can get frustrating.
He knew what was heavy in my heart and in that moment, before the light turned green, He reminded me. your prayer, the desires of your heart, as long as it pleases me, as long as it's for my glory, will be answered.

the rest of the drive to work, every song that came on had just the right words to encourage my weary heart. once i got to work, i was so filled and overwhelmed with peace.

i learned that when God says He will meet you wherever you are ready to meet Him, He will meet you wherever you are ready to meet Him. no lie.
each morning on my way to work, i have my little church service if you will. just me and Jesus.
should i get no red lights, i just make sure to crack open my bible at the parking lot and relish on the scripture my eyes land on.

it may sound rushed or not private enough for some, and believe me that's what my thoughts were about continuing to make my drive my meeting place with God. but He's just been so faithful in meeting with me, knowing that my heart truly needed His word early in the day.
let me tell you, it has truly done a difference in me. i'm more peppy, more positive in the mornings. annnnnd, i don't snark at those trying to cut me off on the road anymore.  thank goodness i've never had a 'JESUS SAVES' bumper sticker! ;)
now that's the love of God pouring out in me.

what about you? when do you usually have your quiet times?

goodbye summer + praise report.

happy monday friends!
it is officially fall, and to wish summer a bon voyage until next year, we made it a day out at the park yesterday, soaking up some nice on your shoulders sun with an oh so pleasant breeze. it was nice. family time is always nice, though right?
minus the crazy uncle, thank goodness that's on my husband's side. ;)

in other news, my heart is exploding with thankfulness. 

my parents have been experiencing a whole lotta stretching from the Lord lately, and in turn, it affects my sisters and i. however, in the middle of it all we have been able to witness God's hand all over it, time and time again. when the Lord wants to take your faith to a higher lever, He doesn't hesitate, and for that i'm so thankful that He is choosing to do so.

my baby sister was able to get her driver's license on her first try, so that my dad would not have to be taking time out of his work day to drive her anymore, she was hired at one of the first jobs she applied for. 

and let me tell you, it's a good job with good pay. in this economy, we really were just hoping for a fast food place or retail with minimum wage.

well God so comes through when He says He has something more than what we can hope for. 

and overall, He is just a good, good God. 

can i get an amen?

i hope you had a wonderful weekend, and here's to a blessed week!

linking up with:

life lately

our weekend

where has beautiful gone?

the line between sexy and trashy has been blurred.

the more skin a girl shows, in her mind, makes her the sexiest girl in the room and the most desired.

the one that guys will fall in love with and dream about marrying. the one who will have guys falling at her feet at the sound of her voice. 

and so the skirts get hiked higher and tighter, the corset tops push up the breasts beyond boundaries, and make up is worn more fiercely.

and don't you dare forget to strut. moving your hips from side to side making your rear the attraction that sends all men into hypnosis. 

this is what the definition of a beautiful woman has come to, in our younger generation. 

and these young girls hold on to that belief like their life, truly believing that unless they follow these trends, they won't be viewed as beautiful. 

oh don't they know who they are and by whom they were created?

sadly, many don't.
many haven't been told. many haven't been held by their mom or dad and heard the words, 'you're beautiful.'
many have been ignored and neglected by their father who should be the first man to love them with all his heart.
many run around desperately crying for attention and allow the first guy to tell them the words they want to hear, 'prove' his love with sex. which results in heartbreak, loneliness, and maybe a pregnancy...
which for many will be terminated.
the word beautiful no longer carries the same meaning.
no longer the way the Lord sees beautiful. as something valuable, something worth cherishing, something worth waiting for.
He sees each girl as the ruby far its own worth, a princess who truly deserves a princes who will fight and deeply love them.
He sees beautiful as the apple of His eye.

my heart, ever since having a little girl and watching her grow up, yearns to make a movement, an example for girls to take back that word beautiful and understand that each one of them is just that.
beautiful in God's eyes. beautiful in every aspect, worthy of being cherished.

because every single girl deserves to know this. (more on what i'll be doing on this tomorrow.) 

what are your thoughts on beauty?

xoxo leah 

linking up with katie

though troubles linger still.

well don't you just love it when you have a post ready to go on groceries, and the Lord moves you to write about something totally different?
hence this morning's post, and hence my apologies for it to be somewhat a run in of words and thoughts just pouring out.

being tested is not fun. there i said it.
not only because it can be painful, but because the time that the process takes, is longer than what we would hope for.
if you've ever been dared to put your hand above an open flame, you do so wanting to face the dare, yet after a few minutes, your flesh won't be able to stand the heat and will withdraw it immediately.
i've seen that in the same way, i will tell the Lord to take it all. to refine me, to mold me, yet when i'm in the middle of the refining fire, it begins to hurt. it begins to take longer than i'd hoped and i immediately want to withdraw and begging to pray fervently for immediate deliverance.

'you are my sword and shield, though troubles linger still.' - Chris Tomlin 'God of angel armies'

those words punched my gut this morning.
turning it all to God, giving my entire life and worries to Him doesn't always mean that trouble around me will stop, or that i will suddenly begin to walk on fluffy clouds and hop on rainbows.
it just means that while a war is going on around me, i will find refuge in His hands. i will not be harmed.

i think of the Israelites, when they were being delivered from pharaoh. as they stood at the edge of the red sea, and started to wonder if the end was near, the Lord opened up the sea and allowed them to go through.
that didn't mean that Pharaoh's chariots were suddenly immobilized or frozen. they still kept coming, chasing after God's people. and fast.

if you've ever been chased by someone, hopefully not to hurt you, but in a game of tag or something, you can feel that person on your heels and chills and the adrenaline overtakes you.
i'm guessing for some of the Israelites it felt like that. trying to walk faster, shoving people around them, fearing that the chariots would catch up to them, looking back every five minutes.
and then they were those who calmly walked, fearing nothing and admiring instead the wonder before their eyes. trouble was still lingering, yet they calmly walked to the other side where deliverance was found.

deliverance is in front of you, not behind you.
Jesus is holding your hand, my hand, and leading us out of the fire one step at a time. but He wants us to step out completely refined.

how else can we testify of His faithfulness and His deliverance, if we don't allow ourselves to be taken through the fire?

so if it takes as long as it takes to be refined according to His heart, stop looking back wondering if your troubles will overcome you. instead look forward and stand in awe of your deliverer who shields you, and holds your hand.
deliverance is in His name.

 

calling all calebs

i wasn't intending  to post today, and was going to leave this post for another day.  but God pressed me to share it today, as i was blessed enough to hear it as my dad preached it this past weekend. and i know it would be a blessing to someone to. so here it is.

you have been promised something. whatever desire God has placed in your heart, a God fearing husband, a small business, a church plant, a new ministry maybe.
whatever your desires are, are different from mine.

both, however, have one thing in common.

they will not be dropped in your lap. no. they will be a struggle to obtain. your struggle may be different from mine, but nonetheless a struggle. because not all good things come easy. especially when the Lord in the process, is trying to refine His children.

as we approach the journey to see our desires being realized, there will be mountains to overcome, there will be mutterers around you trying to bring you down, there will be bigger things that might make you feel like a grasshopper, small and weak.

and that's where the test comes in. will you allow those factors to make you shrink back or will you stand up straight and proclaim that you will be able to face them?

Caleb and Joshua after coming back from exploring the promised land were the only two that although saw the same factors that could have been obstacles, believed that God would allow them to overcome. because it had been promised to them.

'then caleb silenced the people before moses and said, 'we should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it.' numbers 13:30

God doesn't break promises. and he understood that. God had promised them that land flowing with milk and honey.
if God had led them up to this moment, up to this place, it was theirs for the taking as promised.

the dream that you have that He's placed in your heart, it's there for the taking as well.

He's promised to see you through, He's promised to fight for you, and to give the heart's desires of those who love Him.

today is your chance to proclaim to be a caleb. it may not look easy, but with the Lord all is completely possible. believe that. always.

 



THAT song THAT moment link up!

today is the day people! where we get to talk about worship. it's seriously one of my favorite things to talk about simply because there is sooooo much power in it. it's the surrendering of every piece of us and having the Lord meet us there in our brokenness to pick up the pieces and mend our hurting heart.

and it's always a specific song that's tailored for where we are in that specific moment.
the lyrics touch us like nothing before and then it's undeniable that truly the Lord is speaking to your heart in that moment.

i want to share my moment, although it's not the only one as the Lord is always reaching out, but this one sticks out the most to me because of where my heart was.
or actually the state of my heart. shattered. completely broken.

one thing after another over the course of years had left me feeling like a failure. feeling like i had no worth, nothing to give, and sadly at one point, no reason to live.
one morning as i woke up and was driving in to work, i cried out to God, like literally cried out. there in my car, without tinted windows. yep.
frantically, because the heartache was too much to bear. i had tried everything, and nothing seemed to fix the situation i was in. in hindsight, i had tried everything but truly giving my all to Jesus. and as i drove, trying to not let the tears blind me, the lyrics from Big Daddy Weave's Redeemed started streaming through the speakers:

'then you look at this prisoner and say to me: son, stop fighting a fight that's already been won.'

it was as if my tears stopped for a moment from shock of what i had just heard. i just stopped in awe. God was telling me, stop fighting, stop trying on your own. I got this.
You are redeemed, you are my child, you are worthy. and then the tears flowed so much more than before, because at that moment, i honestly felt loved beyond measure by my God.

 

that song, still, while i have it playing as i type, brings me to tears. how beautiful is His love that nothing will stop Him from reaching out and lifting our head from our shame, enveloping us in His arms knowing His work in us is ongoing.

we are so beautifully redeemed.

 

xoxo, leah

 

 

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it's your turn loves. grab the button and link up with amy  and i! we can't wait to read what God has done in YOUR life through THAT song in THAT moment!

 

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everything you do.

planter pictured above is not from my own green thumb. just so you know. ;)

 

i love listening to the radio on my way into work in the mornings. klove is such a positive and uplifting station to listen to and the idea for this morning's post came from something i heard this morning, so i thought i'd pass it along.

 

some days are hard to get through, no?

with the numerous things we have on our plate, whether you spend the majority of your day in the corporate world, the computer being your closest companion for those eight hours, or whether you spend it making meals and cleaning the house with littles around you, at the end of the day, we may just feel downright exhausted!

and maybe it's happened to you as well, that you feel since almost nothing got completed the way you expected, you may feel like you efforts were useless.

i know i've felt that way a time or two.

 

yet we are reminded that everything we do, cleaning up spaghetti from the walls or taking calls from upset customres, should be done enthusiastically as if it were for the Lord. (colossians 3:23-24)

and none of us would grumble while working for God, correct? ahem.

sure it's hard sometimes, but if the Lord has placed us where we are, it's to give Him glory in every which way we can, it's for a purpose to point back to Him. and when we do that, none of our work will be useless or in vain. when we remember that day in or day out, we may not even require coffee to get us moving! no? okay maybe. but today let's remember our work is valuable.

rejoice during the day!

 

what helps you stay positive and joyful during the day?

 

xoxo leah

 

 

 

 

when i don't feel like worshipping.

worship leader.

that's how i've been introduced to new people that have visited our church.
but many times, since my parents began this journey that i've been part of, i have not felt as a worship leader, or any kind of leader for that matter.

i mean, a spiritual leader sets an example. a spiritual leader should be blameless, joyful, always content and must, must be immovable in their relationship with the Lord, right?

none of that describes me.

i'm not blameless. i sin everyday. i pass judgement, don't always show mercy and fall back on old habits.
joyful would not represent me in the least on a friday afternoon. after a long day of work, having to hurry home, prepare dinner and rush to service, many at times i have muttered under my breath on the way to church wondering why we even have a friday service. aren't fridays for movie nite? or to relax from a long week?

and you might be wondering right about now, how in the world am i a worship leader, huh? poor congregation right?

oh, oh and while we're at it. what congregation?
we're in the first year of our church plant with literally no support from fellow churches (not because they have refused. nothing on them. another story would be needed on this one) and it has been a very difficult, humbling journey.
our congregation at times consists of seven people. sometimes more than ten, less than fifteen. and when i look out to the congregation sometimes, discontentment begins to sink in and wonder what's the point? what's the point of leading worship in a setting so small?
and there my faith is moved. shocking, i know.

yet, with stomping feet (figuratively speaking, i mean i would never!) , i walk up to the front and as i open His word to begin, His truth comes rushing in. always.

my purpose in this life, is to worship Him. in the good, in the bad. in seasons of famine and drought, and in seasons of bountifulness. there is power in worship. there is power in lifting up our voices, and releasing everything else that has been tying us down. coming into that holy place where He is so faithful to meet with us, and restore our hearts in an instant. coming to the heart of worshp.

how is it after my heart gets clouded with negative thoughts, He is always faithful to meet me there and work in me time and time again? i will be forever amazed.
and is it any coincidence that many at times the songs chosen for the service, have lyrics that speak straight to the state of my heart? pretty surreal and amazing.
there i can proclaim that He is my God, that He sustains, and that He restores.
i am not the worship leader because of what i can or cannot bring to the table. in fact, i'm not the leader at all. i am simply the instrument He's has chosen at this time, to bring Him glory.

and whether it be from the altar or among the congregation, i will do just that.

how do you feel God uses worship in your church?

 

tear filled prayers.

oh i'm a silly woman, yes i am.
allowing fear at this stage to tackle me and pin me down to the ground.

yes, it's true.

i like to think of myself as someone who can do things if i wanted to, overcome obstacles if need be. but lately i've been realizing that i like to say that, but i don't truly believe that. your friend here has dreams. some, scratch that, all of which have been placed on hold too many times from fear of failing. from fear of not being good enough. and lately from fear that those dreams, i just don't downright deserve to accomplish.

i read about even little dreams that God has given to others. desires of their hearts. sometimes even like a free chocolate donut on a monday. yet, when i look at the desires of my heart when it comes to my career and aspirations for ministry, i haven't seen any doors open yet.
and so i go on to believe that my dreams are probably not that important, that my aspirations are nonsense and that i should just move on and be content with not seeing my dreams unfold.

but then, i'd be calling God a liar.

nobody wants to be the one calling him that. nobody.

yet with my unbelief that the promise is for me as well, with my skeptical thoughts of whether i am one of those that He will listen to or that maybe i'm just not christian enough to have Him give me my dreams, i am calling Him just that. and i should just be given my ticket to hades, right?

but. last night. in my heartache and through tears, i realized.... no, He made me realize, that my fear has been so big, i've created a wall that has prevented me from even coming to Him in prayer with those dreams.
i've prayed for healing, my family, financial well being, but never have i flat out come to Him in prayer with my dreams, with what I hope to be able to achieve....from stupid fear.

why do i do that? why do i sell myself short in believing His power and love don't extend out to me like it does to others?

i'm a hard headed, wild child, back talking daughter. i admit that. and if i were Him, i'd probably cut me off His list.

but i'm not Him. and thank the heavens for that.

instead He reminds me through my tears, that I am His daughter too. and that His promises extend out to me as well. i just have to reach and take them. i just simply have to pull up a chair to His table.

last night in a feeble, tear filled prayer i lifted up my dreams and asked for doors to open wide for me.
and i can feel it friends. i can feel it already. and in case you've been where i've been lately, let me tell you, the promise extends out to you as well.


what's held you back from your dreams?

be with those.

source

while perusing pinterest for carnival themed party ideas for my nephew, and for diy projects i probably will never have to time for, i came upon the above picture..and paused.
such a simple quote, yet so powerful, i think.

we all have things that make us, well us. quirks, habits, traits, that make us unique, that make us special, that make up our being. who we are truly inside.
even the little things we're afraid to let others see.
and with that, we all deal with insecurities on how we'll be perceived, how our dreams will be encouraged or not, by others.
which is why over the years it's become so important for me to know who my posse is if you will. at least here on earth. i know in heaven my jesus has my back.
but you know, it's those people who i know will be there for me in a heartbeat. those that look out for my best interest, and go beyond to strengthen me and encourage me. but also who tell me when i'm screwing up, to make me a better person. and most importantly who will pray for me.

i'm truly blessed to have my husband, parents, sisters, and my kids as those who help my being.
each of them in their own way make me a better person, even my kiddos at such little ages, they teach me so many things every day. the things they say, the things they do. crazy kiddos.

but yes, it's good to surround yourself with those kind of people and let go of friendships that are not good for the soul, distancing myself from those that have an ill intention. which is sad, but what can you do? rather, find those that push you forward and clap for you as you go.
and here in the blogworld, i'm so thankful for those of you who also help my being with prayers and encouraging words, even though we haven't officially met in person. receive a big ol virtual hug from me, okay? i really mean it.

so tell me, who helps your being?

when God surprised me.

if you've been reading along for a good while, you might have seen this post.
from that post i received so much encouragement from many of you that i am so grateful for. emails exchanged and prayers from many of you that i hold so dear to me.

it's something i won't give up on, something we constantly pray for.
saturday started as a normal day, with the exception of my husband wanting my oldest to stay home with him from morning service. he wanted to spend time with him, he said.
i didn't make a big fuss. i figured he'll just go in the afternoon with me, no big deal.

practice what you preach.

print source and purchase option here

God has a sense of humor. really, He does.
sitting here typing this, i just want to end the day, crawl under my covers, sleep, hit the reset button and start over. ironically though, i still feel thankful. if i'm honest, i have to really dig way deep, but i'm still thankful.

hello my name is.

today i'm excited, not only because it's friday, yay! but because mrs. kerri is hosting a sweet link up on her page that i totally wanted to be a part of. totally giving God all the glory in what He has done. check it out and link up. i'd totally love to read about your name. so here's mine. i had to give it a lot of thought because i am constantly being molded, ahem, where have i seen that word before? wink.
and my name might change from time to time but at this point in my life i can say my name is:

source / edited by me

it hasn't always been this though. my name before could've very well have been rebellious and hardheaded. always wanting to see things my way, in my time. angry at God, questioning His ways constantly, almost challenging Him to do things differently according to what i thought was best.
a fairy didn't magically visit me at night and sprinkle magic dust all over me, it was the Holy Spirit that ever so gently nudged me in the right direction of seeing He really is in control and most importantly to me is He will never disappoint me. even when the circumstances seem bleek and not very promising, when i least expect it, He will show me the beautiful work He's been doing all along.
now that makes it a whole lot easier to be trusting.

scripture saturday: rain down.

we stayed in our cars for a good while. it was pouring down HARD. the raindrops sounded almost like hail on my windshield and we could not see anything through the windows.

then, it was hail. hard enough to feel like my windshield was going to break any moment. feared crept up, debated going home instead. we waited.

when the hail stopped, we all made a mad dash inside. 

and as the storm grew louder, our voices grew even louder then. 

our hands were lifted, our hearts in an offering. 

and in that moment, our voices in unison with the enormous raindrops hitting the windows, the Lord made His presence known. 

even in the storm, no matter how ugly, how deep the howling of the wind, your heart as it seeks the Lord will always find His righteousness and salvation. 

because He is faithful to those that draw near to His heart. 

may you have a weekend full of close moments with the Lord. 

quietly contemplating. [happy and healthy you]

lately life has been a bit confusing. a bit unclear and i can sort of see a new road unwinding. 

i could be afraid of it, and at times i have shed a tear or two fearing the unknown. but as i type this and think about all the inspiring posts i have read this week and God's voice being behind each one of them, i'm breathing in deep and can say i'm okay with it.

i'm choosing to see His grace in my life. in those moments of quiet which i've craved more this week compared to most (and it's barely wednesday!), i smile and take it all in. i can't allow the negative or the threatening storm clouds to move me. heck, i might even break out a run when and if it begins to pour.  

now link up below and tell me what you are doing that makes you happy or healthy. could be anything! dancing, eating, spending time with your kiddos. tell me below!

link back so more can join the party, and visit others. it's a party, so mingle or leave some sweet words. say hi!

just copy and paste, mkay? 

button code. ain't nobody got time for that!

where's your happiness beautiful?

i've put happiness on a pedestal for as long as i can remember. i think from the first day after i gave Jesus my depression, all i've ever wanted to be was happy. every minute of every day. i've feared even a moment of solitude or sadness, crawling away as fast as possible from the dark place i was in for far too long. but i've come to a realization these past couple of weeks that this type of happiness has been so dangerous.

Here's what I do. Everyday.

I dream.  I'm a dreamer. Hard core dreamer.

In my head are circulating dreams of decor that could amazingly grace the walls of my home yet are way above my budget.  or the beautiful rustic dining table that looks terribly easy to create if I could only convince my husband to simply look up directions of YouTube. 

I dream of days where I could gather the courage to dig into my creative core and engage in a job that I would love with every fiber of my being.

Dreams of traveling the world seem to have been placed in the backburner and traded in for dreams of taking people on the best trip of their lives,  by coming  to know Jesus. A trip that never ends, just gets better.

The flames of my little outdated stove fire up dreams of mastering recipes and to somehow encourage mothers to cook more homemade and enjoy eating with their families at the dinner table. 

I dream of seeing my kiddos become passionate of the Lord as they continue to grow. That they can become great warriors of faith.  For that I know only too well, that my way of living will be the biggest testimony. So I also dream of being a better mother, friend, prayer warrior for them. And for my husband. 

And while we're in the list of things I dream of,  a nice tall cone of cherry chocolate ice cream with a cherry on top, wouldn't be an awful thing. 

dreamer by night. insurance agent by day.

  Linking up with jenni.
Disclaimer: i may or may not keep up with all the prompts, but I'll try my hardest to blog every day. Maybe.

call me Habakkuk.

patience is a virtue i do not possess. or maybe i just have not given it the time to grow, the seed is there, somewhat.
i grow anxious, i grow desperate in wanting to see my expectations come to life. in whatever area of life it might be. cars driving, my kids getting ready, my dad's business growing more, and God working according to my dreams. all is not fast enough according to me. and i grow frustrated and angry at times.

this weekend, my heart grew heavy in waiting and my heart began to question. what if? why? how? the hot tears just kept welling up and my heart just kept sighing for hope.
i went into a room and there just poured out my heart to the Lord pleading that He move. pleading that He show us what we've been hoping for. and i pleaded for something very specific right then and there.

now i can't sit here believing in a God that is mightier and victorious, and tell you that it was works of pure coincidence. He answered in a matter of less than half an hour, He answered. and not by one but by two.
then my sister texted me a verse:

'Look at the nations and watch - and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told. ' Habakkuk 1:5

coincidence? don't think so.

i sat and read Habakkuk in its entirety, yep all three books. such a great feat, i know.
and there i found myself to be a modern day Habakkuk. questioning, pleading, wondering, why things don't go according to plan for those who seek Him. Why it seems like those that play us for a fool get away with it, and seem to have peace and rejoice without feeling guilty? why does it seem like God hides His face and refuses to answer our pleading prayers?

there are answers i will not get in this lifetime, i know. there are plans that i hold dear to, that He might take away and it will hurt. there will be fear in me of the unknown. i preach about confidence, i tell my sister to be still and know. but yet i'm running around, hyperventilating trying to find the door that will give the answer. hypocrite.

then when i stop running, even then in moments of desperation, in moments of wondering and swaying, i know i must lean on Him. lean on Him whether my prayers are being answered quickly enough or not. because in His day, He will do something that i, even i would not have imagined. whatever His plan is. i will need to trust. if He is the good almighty God I believe in, His plan for me will be too.

'though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails, and the fields produce no food, though there are sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet i will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.'
habakkuk 3:17-18