goals schmoals.

can i tell you something?

i'm overwhelmed. like i feel like i'm drowning and gasping for air overwhelmed.

sorry for the heavy intro on a monday morning. last week i didn't post at all, simply because i had no energy to. i didn't want to sit in front of a computer and type away even though i love blogging.
but it had become another to do on my list. and that sucks the fun out of anything, doesn't it?

see this year i wanted to be reeeeallll intentional with everything. motherhood, being a wife, with my faith, my projects. all of it. this is the year that i wanted to check off everything i intended to do and feel a real sense of accomplishment. i didn't want to end the year feeling like i didn't do anything. like i just mossied my way through it.
 i thought that maybe writing out goals each month would help me stay on top of it, and accomplish things..

but honestly, it's barely two months in and i feel tired and overwhelmed.
as february passed by and nothing on my list was getting checked off, i became anxious and grumpy
because there were not enough hours in the day, because chores were still left undone, because i didn't spend as much time with my kids, because i left my quiet time with God till the end of the week.
something wasn't working. and what i realized was that i always try to make what works for others work for me.

yes, comparison.

i see other mommas having craft time with the kiddos, put that on my list.
i see other women filling up orders for their business, put that on my list.
other moms having their home right out of a pinterest board, yes, put that one on my list too.

and so my list kept building up. my expectations kept increasing, yet since an extra eight hours in the day did not magically appear, unless i wrote off sleep for good, my emotions, my attitude just kept on debunking day by day.

recently i read an article or could have been a post about a suitcase. i'll try to sum it up.
basically we all get a suitcase and at the end of this road when we look into that suitcase, we want to make sure we packed up the things that really, truly mattered. and it breaks my heart as i type this, because i'm a stubborn woman, and even though i know this, the things that really matter lots of times take the backseat.

i don't want to do that anymore. i want the people and things that matter to be always in my suitcase.

so i'm tossing out my itemized monthly goals. don't get me wrong. goal making is a good thing, if it works for you. for me monthly goals are overwhelming me at the moment.

the family photos, business cards, getting the house decorated, etc, etc. will come when they come. at the end of the day it's not all that important. however my God, my family, my kids. that matters.
and that is what i want to focus on. in light of it, i feel like placing time with God and with my family shouldn't even be on a goal list.

we don't put eating or breathing on a goal list, because it's something vital to our life. so is spending time with God and with our family.

 giving myself more of Jesus, showing my kids and husband Jesus, showing my community Jesus.

those three things i want my life song to be about. there, lifesong. that sounds better, don't you think?

letting go of the goal list starting today, grabbing hold of my life song.

what are your thoughts on goal making?