a selfless 2014

'tis the time when we begin to reflect on this past year. the blessings, the disappointments, the struggles and celebrations.
and we also begin to think of this next coming year. and while half of the world begins to write out a list of resolutions that won't be all kept, because who really likes lists, right?
some of us will write out a single word. a word that we want to live by for this next year. a word that needs to mark in how we will choose to live these next 365 days. or 366, don't really want to check right now.
as i began to think of what my word would be, i thought about patient, because Lord knows i'm not. i thought about forgiving, because He knows i need to. i thought about other words that i thought would fit well, that would be good to abide by.
but those were not it. there was a word that kept coming back to me and it was a tug on my heart. one that i don't think i would've chosen myself, but one i'm sure He wants me to be.

my word for 2014 is selfless.

now at first i found it funny because as i closed 2013 i felt spent. spent in a way where i just didn't feel like i had any more to give. i'm exhausted yall. physically, emotionally, mentally exhausted.
and just today i came across laura casey's blog and her whole making it happen series, and the first step was to ask myself, how am i? and that's how i am. completely spent.

so i wondered how being selfless would make me feel...not spent, but filled instead.

and  i realized, much of my hurt and unresolved areas of my heart at the end of this year, come from expecting of others to make me happy, to give me attention, to ask me for forgiveness first. to do right by me first. see the trend there? me, me, me.
and no wonder i feel spent! i've been putting me in the picture in the wrong way.

i know that in being selfless i will learn to be like Jesus. giving, forgiving, kind, unconditionally loving.

most importantly i will learn to let Him focus on me, when i stop focusing on me. while i'm emptied to be filled time and time again by Him alone.

i'm ready to be stretched yall. i feel like this year will be one where i will be taken through things i could never dream of. He's already opened up one door which i will blog about later and i'm pretty excited about. but i'm ready. i'm ready for Him to teach me selflessness.

what word will you be abiding by in 2014?